He really is my friend

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
He really is my friend
2
Fri, 06-04-2004 - 12:26pm
Well, I have had contact with MM again. Over the memorial day weekend, I finally realized that I was just miserable and I couldn't continue the way I was. I don't feel like I cracked as much as I feel like I realized that I had choices, and I could choose to call him and deal with whatever repercussions came from that. Well, I'm really glad I did.

A little bit of background (doesn't really do justice to the whole situation): We were friends, we had sex once, I got pregnant, I terminated the pregnancy (with both of us in agreement), I got mad at him because I felt like he wasn't supporting me and was glossing over the whole situation, I called him names on his VM, and then he didn't call me back for 9 days until I initiated contact this past Sunday.

When I called him, he admitted he hadn't called me back, maybe a little bit because of his pride, but also because he really just didn't know what to do and he thought he would just keep saying the wrong things. I was hesistant to trust him again but I really needed him so I decided to give him a chance. I wrote out in a letter exactly what I needed and he called me and said, "Absolutely, I can do this" Well, he kept his word and he has been absolutely great this week.

This A is over. There is nothing like a pregnancy to snap you right out of fantasy island. My responsibilites, to myself, to him, to his family, all became very clear.

It is weird to have to lean on him so much right now. I couldn't tell a single soul (except this board) about my situation and I was suffocating in isolation with it. Now I know he is on my side and can help me if I can just ask for it. Until I get a little distance from all this and get back on my feet, I'm not really sure what to think about the future of our relationship. What is healthy, what is right, what is wrong. I just want a litte bit of calm right now. This is the calm after the storm, not the calm before the storm. I can rest in that and be OK. I know more is to come and soon I will be back to my feisty self and say, "Bring it on."

I appreciate all the support and kind words of everyone. I don't know if I would have made it through the last month without this board. It's amazing how powerful kind words can be when you are suffering.

"Life ultimately means taking responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for us."

Peace and Hugs,

Real


Edited 6/4/2004 12:34 pm ET ET by realsign

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
In reply to:
Fri, 06-04-2004 - 1:15pm
I'm happy that you got what you were looking for with all of this. I know how wonderful it is not to have something that hanging over your head and making you feel miserable. I'm sorry to hear about your pregnancy and that you had to end it but I'm glad that you are doing well. I hope that the both of you can continue a friendship and that he can support you in the ways you need him to. You're right, the future isn't certain and who knows what lies ahead. I wish you the best and hope that you still visit the boards and give us updates.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2004
In reply to:
Fri, 06-04-2004 - 1:26pm
I'm glad you're feeling good again real...sometimes all it takes is a little communication b/c so much is usually left unsaid but when it all comes out...it makes things so much easier to deal with and clearer than to be left wondering all the time and making up your own assumptions. Keep us posted on your situation and glad that he finally came thru for you :).