He showed up with his "new" girl:(

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
He showed up with his "new" girl:(
4
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 10:50am
Hi I am starting over today with NC, He dropped by sat. night the same place me and my friends hang out and he was all over her. Touching her how he used to touch me, complimenting her all the time in front of me...it was making me so jelous but I didnt dare show it...so now I know hes found someone else to fill the void I was filling because I am not single, and she is...but I know if I was suddennly single he wouldnt stop seeing her, I dream about him, and wonder why he hasnt sent me an email or a message, but it is for the best because when he sent me a mail last week I couldnt resist replying. I am sure he will contact me somehow this week, because he will wonder why Im not begging for him. He has the nerve to ask if I ever have orgasms after we had sex and I said yes but not from intercourse alone, and he said "oh I wish we had more time so I pleasure you as well" Weve been together numerous times and he never once tried anything other than sex even when he asked what I liked, i told him and nothing ever came of that...so I feel really used as his sexual toy, but for some reason I seek his approval, it is ´sick twisted and taking me into dark parts of my mind I never want to return to, I have a husband that loves me and I know a life with this other guy would suck and would never be fulfilling, so if my mind knows this, why wont my heart and body get it???? It is so irritating, I actually told him I wish I never met him, that he didnt exist so that I wouldnt know what I was missing...all of our friends say he only thinks with his "manhood"...please, I need some support on this NC, it is really difficult since my friends and husband are friends with him, I like hanging out all together, but then thats not NC is it? Good luck to everyone out there starting a new week lets be strong for eachother!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 10:58am
Your stronger than you think and you'll make NC work. I get the whole sex toy thing my guy actually called me his sex slave and I always wanted to please him. It's hard that your OM is part of your group that make NC even harder I'm lucky I can probably spend the rest of my life and never run into mine again.

good luck this week

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2004
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 4:39pm
What a tough place to be Kleinekat! What an arse! This is all the more reason to DUMP him - he was acting like a total jerk by putting you through this. DON'T feed his ego!

I need to take my own advice too - it is hard for me as well. I KNOW my MM is a user and a jerk and can keep sex and feelings seperate. I can't! I should not want him anymore but I do!

Good luck! Hang in there and know that you are not alone - and you CAN do this! You can show him!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 7:43pm
Hi Lazy,

nice to hear from you again this week, yes Im sure he loved being with two girls he thought fancied him in the same room, but in all fairness he has hung out with me and my husband plenty of times, Im not a guy, but I could imagine he might of at one point felt some jelousy so maybe I am just being selfish, I tried to be nice and talk to her, but I think this made him very nervous, I think he is afraid of "female bonding" o somthing and that I would reveal the affair to her and then she would want nothing to do with him, which Im sure her wanting nothing to do with him will be the outcome in the long run anyway, but I would never do this, he has enough going against him in getting a girlfriend in my opinion, also even though I want him. it will be much easier to not continue on if he is dating her, seeing her, most of all sleeping with her...I have already checked my email today sadly and there was nothing, but I know he was checking it too and hoping there was something from me...last week we went 2 days without contact until on weds. he sent that "I miss you" email, hopefully this week I will be stronger and not reply, even though I do hope he sends me an email, even though I know its just because he doesnt want to think I can so easily forget him, I enjoy the power of treating him just the way he treats me:) Its not evil, just my way of having fun too, and he says he doesnt play games...well then by his definition I dont either:)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 10:40pm
Kat

You need to stop focusing on this boy.

Are you in IC to work on the issues that have you so hooked on this PLAYER, and a player is what he is and nothing more.

See him for what he is, one thing he is not is your husbands friend he has done nothing but stick a knife in your husbands back.

By now you should have blocked his mails and ended all contact even if it means cultivating a new group of friends.

Anything less then a total effort is only going to make life far harder on you.

GOOD LUCK