He Still has the Nerve...
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| Thu, 04-22-2010 - 11:20pm |
Hello all,
I been posting cuz I left the board and felt weak. I been posting for everyone. As I am posting about fishing attempts I get one. I have let these roll off my back, they come far and few between as of late. He emails me from random accounts. I have blocked all I could. This one came from a new yahoo account, assumed it may be him...I did not open it, but the subject line was right there. It was enough to send me spinning. I am quite agitated. I am quite upset. I have not played his fishing game. I have been strong as of late. I even went out on a date. I did a background check on this guy....he is not married. Its a shame that I do background checks now after being lied to....anyway. Then the same statement comes to me via txt from some strange numbers, sent via a computer. The same statement.
For those of you who do not know my story, brief recap, I am NC since Dec 4th. Very ugly ending. A Dday with his wife. I was P. I decided to terminate and put him out the next day. He ran and never heard from him since. Not even a phone call to see if I was okay. Best thing he ever did for me.
Until the last 2 months or so, I get fishing attempts. They come via texts...google gives you a free phone number with vm and everything. I suspect that is how he contacts me. They also come via email. You feel like you are under attack. They were not getting to me nearly as much as they used to...but this one pushed me over the edge.
He says "I wish we had the B so that you would be in my life one way or another"
He is sick and I wanted so badly to respond. I can not tell you how badly. I have never wanted to break contact so badly. If I were in his presence I know I would have punched him dead in his face. How dare him? How dare him go there? I am so angry. He needs to leave me the hell alone. He knows just what buttons to push. He was always good at that. This fish attempt has me shaking and instead of responding to him, instead of calling his wife, instead of doing stupid things I would surely regret, I am here.
I am here because I know you all care more about me than the sick sociopath who is still in need of an ego stroke and can not handle rejection.
He wants to be friends...LOL...all the pain and he wants to be friends. I wish I could send him posts from this board, about friends and the like, I wish I could get him to see how sick he really is. But that is futile and simply aint my problem. I just need to be left alone.
I really let him get a rise out of me, but he hit me where he knew it would hurt....can not let him know it tho. Breathing deeply as I type this.
I have made a decision tho, changing phone number in am, changed email already. I am done. I can not be thrown off further.
I hate the fact I am like a sitting duck. I hate that he still can stir all these things in me. I hate that when I think I close to being out of the woods, I realize he still holds some cards. His hand is stronger than mine and he remains fervent to stay in the game. I am not playing anymore.
I feel as raw as I did months ago. YET, I am so much more determined and stronger now. He is not going to win, he is not going to hold me back. He will likely die a lying sad cheat. He is stuck and I am freeing myself. This will get me thru tonight and I will sleep without taking medication.
I have not had a tough day in weeks...UGH!! It would feel good to tell him off. For only about 5 mins tho. And the attention he gets, he will be so happy, no matter what I say, any attention is good attention as far as his sadistic self is concerned. I need to read more old posts...those old ones. Anyone wanna copy and paste and knock me over the head? Remind me of the hell he put me thru....some of which I am responsible for too. But this is all him now. I have stayed the course....that is all I can do.
Right now I need the board....I closed the email account that had all my sayings and inspirational things that kept me going. I had a great collection. Bummed, I did it w/o thinking. I was so scared to get another email before I even thought about that folder that got me thru.
anyone that has some of those good things...please pass em along to me. email them, post em in this thread..please i need them. i will appreciate whatever is sent.
and of course, I need you ladies who have been here for me from the ugly beginning. Thank you in advance for your support and encouragement and whatever you can send me.
Starting a new folder might just what I need. kinda like a reset...need to revisit these things...
thanks for listening...
Luvin

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Luvin -
Wow. AllI can I can say is this guy has some real cajones. Unbelievable!! I can't even imagine what you must be feeling right now. I'm so glad you came here, instead of breaking NC. You seem to understand exactly what he is - a selfish, egomaniac who is looking to get a reaction from you and know that he can still get to you (whether in a good or bad way). Probably expects you to respond "me too" or some BS like that. Being silent is actually shouting at him, so kudos to you for your strength.
Is there any way you can completely close all of your email addresses and open a brand new one that he can't find? At this point, I think I would pull out all the stops to prevent him from contacting you.
Please, please stay strong and post here when you need to vent, instead of breaking NC. Your silence will have a greater impact than anything you could possibly say or write, but you already knew that. :)
((HUGS)) and strength -
Gal
I took a hot shower....and I am already a bit better. Ready to hit the bed. I closed down the account, will handle cell in am. He had me shaking for a minute but I have worked too hard for too long to give him an ounce of what he wants...Me thinking of him. Whether he knows it or not, I aint giving him shiz.....I have a very busy day and weekend tomorrow and by Monday, he will be a random thought here and there. Funny thing is. I do not even like em, he is unattractive and his behavior makes him all the uglier. Indifference here I come, wait just a little longer. Can not wait to meet ya.
I still need those affirmations and famous posts...I need to rebuild my special folder of armor...thanks again in advance.
Its amazing how much faster you bounce back now. I am not saying he did not kick me in the gut, I am just saying, I am not on the ground nearly as long as I used to be....and that's progress. I will take it.
thanks again,
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
This guy really puts the FU in dysfunctional. That’s it…I officially dislike your xAP way more than I dislike mine and mine is a real piece of work. I don’t even know yours personally but it makes me wonder why it is not legal to recommend certain people for crash test dummy work.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
(((Luvin)))
First, the A thought you to be cautious (background check) and that is good.
He does have some nerves. He is a self-centered jerk who left you pg and in the cold when his W found out. He doesn't deserve to ever talk to you again. Remember that men like him know how to pull vulnerable women into their web of deceit. They are good at trickery. Imagine the tricks he is playing for his W to keep her in the M. Good for you for realizing that him contacting you and sending a msg like that is selfish and destructive to you.
Here is something that helped me a long time ago.
Hi Why,
I’m hi-jacking Luvin’s post to answer you from another thread. Tryin to honor CL’s request on the other thread but still finding a way to respond to you.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Thanks for answering empowerment. I'm sorry to say I haven't read the TOS completely and sometimes my emotions of wanting to help women in pain get so carried away that I may cross the line. My friend who I led to the EAS board said that you and Iddy were better than her T in making her realize that her FWH's
I’m walking out the door but had to give a response to your post. It means more to me than you could know!
<>
Wow now that is impressive! How much did I stress out her printer and how much do I owe her for the toner? She must have ten foot ceilings in her office to fit one of my long winded posts on her wall! As long as it’s not being used for bathroom paper, then I’m thankful to hear they’ve helped someone. Please tell her God Bless her for reading them and tell her I’m sorry for the red eye syndrome she must be suffering from the eye stress they’ve been known to cause.
Yes Iddy is amazing with her caring posts full of wisdom that she tailors to each poster. She too tells it like it is and I like her humor and find myself gasping for air at times.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Luvin:
This guy's got to go.
I just can't even imagine the pain that you have experienced at the hands of this 'man'. To use the pregnancy in that way - that is unforgivable and shows just how unwell he is. I am sorry that he still haunts your life.
Take this opportunity to re-evaluate what avenues to contacting you he has and block. It makes me so uncomfortable to tell a woman what to do to make herself safe(r), because we shouldn't have to - our boundaries should be respected. However, in this case, he won't stop until you are destroyed by his relentlessness.
Please take care of yourself,
TU.
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
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