He was with someone else
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He was with someone else
| Wed, 11-24-2004 - 1:01pm |
The most horrible awkward situation last night...I feel so stupid for trying to be the bigger person...we had to be in a parade because of where we work, and he showed up with someone else, woman about 10 years younger than him whose uncle works with us. My H is still staying elsewhere, so I was alone. When I first got there, I was so upset and embarrassed that I stayed away until we had to line up. When I walked back to the lineup, OM told me he saw me walk away and wondered why. I told him I felt uncomfortable. A male coworker, a very good friend of mine, also in the parade with us, saw how upset I was and kept joking with me and trying to cheer me up. When the OM's "friend" was busy talking to someone else, OM had the nerve to walk over to me and make a jealous remark about the guy. I had no good response at the time, I was so shocked; later, I thought of a thousand things I could have said. As the night went on, he made a point of being very attentive to this girl and civil but cold toward me. I got so angry that when we were finished, I just walked away without a word. Then, like a big, stupid dummy, I called him on his cell phone. He answered but was very business-like, just told me everything was fine and to have a nice holiday. I was SO MAD at myself and at him when I hung up. Later, my friend from work called, and I asked him what was up with OM and his "date," and he said they were just friends and that she wasn't interested in OM. Funny, but I remember saying the same thing about us... Somebody, please, give me some tough love here. I need a big kick in the head right now for continuing to be so stupid and let him see how much this hurts. I still have all these feelings for him, and I hate it!!!! I just want it to go away. How long does it take?

I remember when I first started posting here........I was upset and needed comfort and found alot of posters Bitter.
I now know why.
We are broken.
We have been treated cruely.
The "love" or caring that the xOM/xMM gave us - has left their minds and hearts and it hurts.
As women, we feel and hold onto the moments when things were sweet and remember when they looked into our eyes and they showed us that we were their world - that we brought them such happiness.
We made them feel High - they made us feel high. and once one of us said it has to end: we fell to the ground and miss the happiness.
I am bitter now. I am tired, I am sad, I cry all the time because I feel sorry for myself, I want want want - and I am being refused. I made unanswered calls and feel stupid.
Dont feel like I do.
I see no way out of this for me. I am lost.
I dont think the sadness will ever go away - but the severity of it will diminish in time.
I want to hate him - make my love for him turn ugly.
All the nice and beautiful things he said to me I will just think of them as lies.
I guess this is a strange sisterhood of pain, isn't it? Funny how we get strength from each other's misery. I know we're going to get through this, girl. Just feels like we're going to die...but if their feelings can go away, ours can, too. Let's keep telling ourselves that, anyway. You're right; I keep being haunted by these memories of him. I thought it was real, true love.
Don't give up. You are worth more than this. And I am, too.