Hearing little things...
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|Fri, 08-10-2012 - 9:33pm|
Hello, it's needy Dodgie here again
So, I am doing OK. Just very much ok. Not great, not even good, but very average. But, I have had a couple of setbacks, as you know, me reading some old messages back and forth during the week, that I found in an old folder on my laptop. But, that was self inflicted of course.
But, I just wondered how you all go if you hear just little things through others that know xAP but don't know of the A, therefore, they just talk of them and what they have been doing etc.
I am in NC of course, but you can't stop others mentioning this person and each time, it is like a knife in my heart and sets my mind back into overload. A friend of mine is his friend on fb, and we were having coffee and she was looking through fb and just reading (to herself but out loud) any of the latest stuff. And I wasn't even paying attention until she got to xAP checked in at blah, blah, blah... of course my heart dropped (she had already gone onto reading the next thing out loud but I heard nothing more after that bomb!) and I started to wonder who he was there with, if he was thinking of me etc etc.
Those little things are doing my head in, do they get easier??? Of course I can't tell someone to SHUT UP when they mention his name, as RL friends don't know about it at all.
Seems like I just start to feel more positive and more skillful at replacing throughts with affirmations and something little like this happens.
I guess this is the two steps forward and one step back thing. Sigh.