HEART ATTACK!
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HEART ATTACK!
| Mon, 03-07-2011 - 3:10pm |
OMFG. I'll be damnmed. MFer just emailed me from another acct. Its been almost FIVE effing months!!! He's gonna be in my town soon and was asking advice where to stay (yes I read it). Really?? What a total douche bag. He lived here. He can find a place to stay. I believe he's computer savvy enough to figure out a place to stay all by his big boy self. OMG I am ANGRY!! Not feeling hurt in the least. Just royally pissed off. So he wants me to know he's gonna be in my neighborhood. Am I supposed to be grateful and drop to my knees before him?? GACK. I never thought I'd hear from him. What an arrogant a-hole. I can't believe how angry I am. Oh, BTW, I did not and will not respond. Aaaaaaaaaaagh. Piece of $hit.

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Sorry the email made it through. Anger….well now…who taught him that when he wanted to play a little you were up for it? We cannot be mad at a person when they treat us exactly as we taught them to treat us.
I agree that the best way to show him you are not interested EVER is to not reply and block the email address he wrote you from.
Your anger shows progress. Remember when we use to be flattered by those emails? The fact that you are repulsed shows growth. Iddy is right though. Don’t let his email dictate your mood nor should you dwell on it. That is giving away your power.
If any other emails make it through, then use the opportunity to prove to YOURSELF how LITTLE what he has to say matters to you by deleting the email as soon as you realize it is from him. Now that you are aware he could write from other email addy’s you need to be extra vigilant. Remember you are the gatekeeper of what you chose to allow into your life.
Hugs,
E1
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Hi Always, "I am woman" is just the best anthem for endings isn't it!
Having satisfied myself that neither your H nor anyone you love has actually suffered a heart attack, I am rolling my eyes (and cringing in recognition of my own past lapses) at your x's lame attempt to secure some free entertainment on his trip to your city. Honest to god, I sometimes think these things would be more dignified if they just offered to leave some money on the dresser.
Take that shower, wash him out of your hair, and move right on with your fabulous, powerful life.
Kat.
Always,
I COMPLETELY understand that ANGRY FEELING.
Always...yes what a douche bag piece of crap scum of the earth! I'm pissed at him too!!! What the hell? Glad you didn't reply and you deleted it. Keep moving on and forget about him now. FORGET the son of a,,,He isn't worth the time or energy to even be in your thoughts.
"Dee, he emailed me through a new account he obviously set up. I could have deleted it without reading, but I know that I am strong enough and in a good enough place that reading it wouldn't set me a flutter. I'd have been dying of curiosity if I didn't read it and that would have kept me thinking of him for far too long"
Sorry Always2, you know I LOVE you - but I am not buying it. AT ALL.
Anger is a secondary emotion that surfs about the real feelings that you are masking. Tell me, how are you REALLY feeling? What kinda conversations are you having in your mind ... ?
Feel the power - but you know what will follow? A huge CRASH.
I think the power you are feeling is actually the "high" from some form of contact fooling you into feeling it as empowerment.
Power would have truly been felt if you had just deleted the message - which REALLY would have affirmed in your mind that HE JUST DOESN'T MATTER. He matters so little that you could care less what he would have written ... you would have known that you could cope with the wondering, and moved on. You yourself said that you couldn't have just erased it because you would have been eaten alive wondering what he had written. That tells me what he said mattered on some level.
By reading the email, you actually demonstrated that still, in some capacity - WHAT HE THINKS AND FEELS does MATTER.
You did dis-respect yourself and your husband by reading the email.
Just my opinion having BTDT.
Much care,
TU.
Hi Always!
I am so sorry to hear this! I would be P!SSED as well... as I was after 3 months when Xap did the same thing. I was so angry that he all of a sudden decided to send me a stupid fish when he walked away without a word....
HOWEVER.... and this is where I want you to stop and think and be honest with yourself...
When the anger was gone, the CRASH began...I think TU said the same thing (sry if I am wrong). I am certainly no expert on keeping NC and I made some BAD choices in breaking that, I am paying dearly for them now and I know all too well the pain that is to follow this first week of NC. I say this Always because I know how right everyone is in saying you should not have read this email... I can't say I wouldn't have done the same, but know to delete next time AND there will be a next time.
Hope you come out of this unscathed...but if you don't we are all here to help you!!!!!
Healing
Honestly, I think being able to delete an unread email from an xAP must take super-human strength.
TU,
Woman, I love you. And I have nothing but the utmost respect for you and the wisdom you own and unselfishly share. I am not at indifference. I did wonder what he had to say after five months of NC, so that obviously shows that I'm not indifferent. What I wrote wasn't BS in the sense that I am trying to fool anyone--least of all myself. It is where I am at now in this healing process. It is what I believe. Yes, if I didn't care about SOMETHING, I would have deleted without shaking a single tail feather. So this shows me that I still have work to do.
So, let me work on trying to figure that out. Why do I care what he has to say? Why am I angry?
Hi Alwayst sorry for the duplicate post, I can never get on a laptop at home and use my phone which I seem to be very technically challenged at using.
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