heartbroken, back from NL ( long sorry)
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| Wed, 03-10-2004 - 5:28am |
Just that OM is the boss at work, but a wimp at home. That he is only there for his girls, 6 and 2 years old, and that OM needs a woman with energy, life, love and that is something his W never had. That for the past 11 years if OM is just at his dad's house she phones 3-4 times just to see that he's there. She is terribly jealous, and they know that OM has never given her a reason. That the day before we met again in Aug, OM called and cancelled the plans to photograph the wedding. His dad told him he had to, he agreed to, and after that day, (that magical day, we met and talked and fell... ) he called his dad and said it was the best day of his life. His father leaned over and winked at me, 'i think you had something to do with that' he said.
I tried calling him, no answer, just felt so low. I learned that OM is really sensitive and scared. Of everything. He had his own business, that went under and lost all his self confidence. That explains so much.
The next day i was still a mess, i phoned his house (which i never to) W answered and yelled at me. Said she read my letters and text messages, said you both are married what are you thinking.. he wants nothing to do with you' then she hung up.
I got through to him later that day, and said, i don't know whats going on. I have 3 days here and thats it. Does he still have monday off, he said he did so we agreed to meet at 9 on monday.
9 came and went. I waited till 9:30 before calling and getting his machine. Just left a message. I just said that i know that he is scared. We all get scared. I don't know what she knows, i don't know anything cause he hasn't told me, and that i am sorry this couldnt work.
later that day i heard from a friend that OM texted her ( my phone was not working in NL so he had her nr.) he said that he was on his way, but couldn't make it at 9, and if i could call him.
I did call, out of instict and he didn't answer. I went to my H, and his friend, and we enjoyed the day. Heartbroken and sick. When i got home I had a text message come in,
'thanks for your voice mail, i WILL write you back, but there is a lot of crap that has happened.You will hear it all from me, okay?!greetings and i am sorry'
I just don't think i can do this to myself.I know that i am sensitive, and that i fell very hard, and that there's nothing that can be done now. I am honest with myself, this can't happen anymore. I don't even know if i want to hear his reasons.
All i know is I was there. And i felt so sorry for myself. I took a long look in the mirror and saw this beautiful woman. 26, strong, who's never been stood up before... there heartbroken over this guy. I need to get my head back on straight. Its almost spring here in Finland and its beautiful. I would never want to leave here, I just wanted him. He wanted me. It just didnt work. Time to pick up the pieces, I'm going back there in May with my family... i won't see OM; but just being there... thanks for listening you all..

I just wanted to send you a hug!! I know you are hurting and things are still very confusing from the sound of things. You are going to get through this. Spring makes everything seem new. This may be a great time to start things new yourself. I'm a firm believer in NC. As hard as it is, it does help after a while. Hang in there. It is hard, but if I can do it I know that you can. Enjoy all the beautiful things in your life!!! I will try and check later to see if you got this and how you are doing!!
Karry
Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige
Thanks for your hugs and thoughts.. i need it!!
Just wondering how things are going? Are you feeling better? I know you can use the support. Wanted ya to know I'm thinking of you!!
Karry
Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige
Yes, it hurts so much to be stood up. Tell yourself you deserve better than what he can offer you.
I don't know much of your story other than what you have here.
Good luck and I hope things get better for you.
(rutabagah, I hope you don't mind that I'm sharing them on another post.)
>>>you are worth so much more than a sideline. You deserve to be the center of someones world, not a satelite of theirs.<<<
These words ring true for so many of us.
Just something to think about.