Hello and upcoming face to face w/xAP

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Hello and upcoming face to face w/xAP
13
Thu, 04-29-2010 - 11:08am

Wow, lots of new "faces" on here.

I've been reading some and certainly not posting much lately. In a way I've reached the point where visiting EAS brings up a lot of memories I'd like to forget.

I'm not 100% out of the woods - I wonder if I ever really will be. Soon, there will be an event that my husband and I will attend and I know xAP will be there for certain. Thankfully, xAP and I are 1000 miles away from each other, so I don't have to see him. But I have seen him on TV (sports) and I have seen his name in print. Small triggers, but they still stab me in the heart to a degree. Regarding the upcoming event, I am developing a plan of action. I'm trying not to obsess over it, but I know I need to have something to rely on in case I have a confrontation with xAP. He would use this event as an opportunity to bombard me with questions on why I ended the affair. I know him - he can't stand to lose, he would have to get to the bottom of the issue. So I am trying to think of ways to avoid him. Not likely - we will be in a reception hall together. I have time on my side to prepare and hopefully I won't have to use any preplanned maneuvers! I will let you EAS'ers know what happens, but it is still weeks away. Hi everybody!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Thu, 04-29-2010 - 1:52pm

E1 and Star, hey nobody needs to tell this girl to go shopping, I can do that in my sleep!

I probably should wear full body armor but the event is formal! I did buy a killer dress. And I'm damn proud of how I look. Hey, I just went a high school reunion and it sure felt good hearing "you look fantastic" over and over. I might be early 50's, but I'm 5'7" and a size 2 !! I can still turn heads. Is that a cougar these days, ha ha!!

On a more serious note, I know one of the many reasons I had the affair with xAP was to prove to him and myself, he let go of a real good thing in college. And a killer dress will certainly help. Maybe I should hammer spikes in my evening bag so if xAP comes near I can whop him upside his head!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Thu, 04-29-2010 - 2:21pm

Bandk,


5'7" and size 2? DAYUM! You are smok'n! So happy to hear that you bought yourself a little hot number. Nothing like some retail therapy. :)


I know you are going to walk in there and KILL IT! The A that is. Squish it into the ground. Then walk away in your hot dress with your head held high with class!


Can't wait to hear how it goes! Once again, 5'7" and size 2??? DAAAAYUM!!!


~Stargirl~
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
Thu, 04-29-2010 - 2:35pm

Hello Bandk!

You have received some fabulous suggestions - and having the smarts to plan and anticipate ahead of time is so important. I loved having all the words of encouragement to reflect on when I started to falter. I see my xAP a lot and in various situations. In a couple of weeks we will be away together - well not together, but co-presenting together at an away function. That ups the stakes for sure. However, I have learned to carry a protective shield over my heart. I am learning to keep well insulated. So far, it has been okay. I don't find seeing him sets me back, just feels draining and sad. Don't let your xAP take a night away from you. I think you will surprise yourself with how fantastic you're gonna feel when you look fantastic AND stick to NC. It is an amazing little victory - and we'll be here to celebrate it with you.

Do us proud (-:

TU.

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou

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