I am so happy to read this. Too many of the posts over the last week have been discouraging to say the least. I, too, had a wonderful Xmas, surrounded by my children and grandchildren.
So good to hear that you're feeling in a better place. Time to change the thinking from "hoping" you'll come out of the fog, to knowing that if you do the work, you WILL FOR SURE. It is good to be prepared to bump into xAP - and there is just one course of action no matter the circumstance ... you TURN AND WALK AWAY. I have attended many events xAP was at, and each and every time he approached me, I walked away. I am sure people talk about it, but I don't give a crap, no amount of upholding social norms is as important as my SANITY!
Livin..... I am in a similiar situation, in that, my H is friends with Ap and I'm friends with his W. There IS no turning and walking away..... I've become the master of disguise. You just gotta master the look of indifference. I keep telling myself, EVERY TIME I do this, is one step closer to me actually feeling that way: INDIFFERENT! Its starting to work, because like you read in my other post, I'm really learning WHO he is, and its ugly.
Its hard to judge a person we did this with, because we are essentially, judging ourselves right? That's where I always stumble..... How can I have such hatred for a man who merely fell into the same trap I did? Well, my situation is slightly different in that, he has fallen into the trap multiple times before AND after me, so its not the "mistake" he liked to portray it was! Its a habit with him....
I want to read your full story but I'm having trouble finding it! Where abouts did you post it?
Those were my initial thoughts. I know that NC means NC but in that situation is it ok to at least say hi or something along those lines so I don't come off as rude.
Livin,
I am so happy to read this. Too many of the posts over the last week have been discouraging to say the least. I, too, had a wonderful Xmas, surrounded by my children and grandchildren.
So good to hear that you're feeling in a better place. Time to change the thinking from "hoping" you'll come out of the fog, to knowing that if you do the work, you WILL FOR SURE. It is good to be prepared to bump into xAP - and there is just one course of action no matter the circumstance ... you TURN AND WALK AWAY. I have attended many events xAP was at, and each and every time he approached me, I walked away. I am sure people talk about it, but I don't give a crap, no amount of upholding social norms is as important as my SANITY!
TU.
I have a question and maybe some of the vets can help me.
Hey livin', thank you for sharing.
Livin..... I am in a similiar situation, in that, my H is friends with Ap and I'm friends with his W. There IS no turning and walking away..... I've become the master of disguise. You just gotta master the look of indifference. I keep telling myself, EVERY TIME I do this, is one step closer to me actually feeling that way: INDIFFERENT! Its starting to work, because like you read in my other post, I'm really learning WHO he is, and its ugly.
Its hard to judge a person we did this with, because we are essentially, judging ourselves right? That's where I always stumble..... How can I have such hatred for a man who merely fell into the same trap I did? Well, my situation is slightly different in that, he has fallen into the trap multiple times before AND after me, so its not the "mistake" he liked to portray it was! Its a habit with him....
I want to read your full story but I'm having trouble finding it! Where abouts did you post it?
It is in the general discussions with the title New Here...I think I posted it on the 20th of this month.
Found it!!