HELP?!?!
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| Thu, 03-10-2005 - 9:26am |
I don't get it, I just don't understand?!?!?
My MM and I had. yet agian, our final talk. I told him that I can't do this. My heart is being crushed and I'm done!!! SO that was last night. I wake up this morning, thinking that this time around (mind you it's the 3rd time we've ended it), I was going to stick this out. I thought of all the pain to remind myself why this is the best thing to do.
So, what does he do? He calls, first thing. I don't answer. So then what does he do???? He shows up at my daughter's school?!?!?! WHY?!?! He stands next to my car as I'm walking back to tell me he loves me, that he can't bear to lose me. That he is not going back to his W, this time for sure. He tells me that he just can't give me 100% till after the D, that he needs some time to heal and "let go" of his past with her? So, what I'm I supposed to do, keep getting bits here and there? Wait until he decides a month from now, or 6 months from now that he DOES want to go back?? I asked him one last time, to leave me alone and that if someday, he is sure and the D is final, then come look for me but that I am not promising him that I will be there. His eyes teared (and so did mine) as I walked around the car, got in and drove off.
Now, I'm hurting, even more than I thought I would. I'm sure he'll leave me alone now, so I guess I'm just in need of some support to not break down and call. So tempted to say, "O.k., I'll wait, I'll be here until the smoke clears" NOT!!!
Doves
Hey jenn, what should I do???

Doves
You did what you HAD to do, so now stick to it.
WHEN he contacts you again tell him NOT TO tell he can put signed divorce papers in your hand, signed by his WIFE not just him.
There is only one way out of the muck your on that way now don't let yourself slid or be pulled off it.
JMHO
Free
doves,
OMG!!!!!! He showed up at your daughters school?????? Talk about having absolutely ZERO, NONE, ZIP, NADA respect for you or your life. There is your biggest reason not to call him ever again. Think about what he did. He doesn't care about you..he just wants to hold onto you for his own selfish reasons. He wants to make sure he will not be left without a wife and a girlfriend. If he keeps up the crap get restraining order slapped on his as*.
Don't feel hurt and sad...feel pis*ed off, and then work at making your life better... without him in it!
Just my opinion....i don't even know if it's worth 2 cents.
~nuttmeg
Your both right.
I guess since he has met me at the school in the past he didn't think much of it. We used to even take my girls to school at times together!!!!! Back when we were really dating, you know he was seperated and his W knew we were together and that he moved on. But, since January, (after he left me to go back to W in Dec) I asked him to keep it between us because if in the end he wasn't going to be around, the girls don't need to be subjected to missing him as they began to. He agreed, thankfully, he didn't appear today at the time that I was taking the girls out of the car, he waited until I was walking back.
Either way nutmeg, it's wrong, it's absolutely wrong, because I did tell him that I can't see him and don't want to see him so he should of respected that. Yes, he doesn't want to be left without a girlfriend or wife, he's probably terrified of being alone which is obviously the case.
Free, your right, I'll try my hardest to stay strong.
Thanks!!
Doves
Hi Doves,
Not familiar with your story, I am a frequent lurker. I joined the board last year when my affair ended and it was the best help I gave myself to ending my affair. As you struggle at the beginning with the going back and forth you eventually tell yourself its time to let go, it gets to be to much because the pain consumes you to a point were you just say enough. Thats what I did, and thats how I let go. The feelings dont subside so quickly here it is March and my affair ended Sept and I still think of him and care for him a great deal, Bottom line is I want nothing to do with the affair because of how low I let myself get. I am relieved its over.
You did the right thing by walking away, he hurt you by going back to her in Dec. Chances are he is not being honest with you regarding his divorce. Its comfortable for him to have his cake on the side and his family as well, hell he has the best of both worlds. You need to set your standards when it comes to him. Also let him know he needs to respect you and your girls, that my dear comes first.
If he is telling you the truth than he will do right by you and if he loves you the way he says he does tell him to show you the papers once there signed by both. If its meant to be it will be, if not there is someone out there for you who will treat you and your girls with the love and respect you need and deserve.
Good luck and I wish you lots of strength and peace.
Ladybug...