HELP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
HELP!
13
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 4:20pm
Oh damn. I am not sure what happened but all of a sudden that "feeling" has come about and now I am feeling a bit weak and panicky. Feeling like I want to reach out to him...just to see how he is. I swear I think I have a split personality sometimes. One minute I am fine and then this happens. Just reading these posts sometimes does it to me too. Gets me thinking and then I am overcome with the "feeling" that I want to talk to him.

Remind me again, why I absolutely can't contact him?!!!!



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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
In reply to: dipss
Wed, 10-13-2004 - 8:47am
Dipps

I helps to have a plan rehearsed in your head of how your going to react to these feelings so that you do that in automatic mode, something like call your hubby or sister someone safe.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
In reply to: dipss
Wed, 10-13-2004 - 10:47am
Hey Dipps. I'm right there with you, except I haven't even wanted to say I'm trying NC again, in case I fail, big coward that I am! Isn't it odd how you get those moments of weakness, cravings, I suppose, where you want to throw all logic out the window and just give in and contatc them, even though you KNOW it's a huge mistake? I noticed yesterday that if anything happens with my H, I immediately want to counter by getting in touch with OM, which must be a pattern I developed over the years. I think Free's advice to have a plan set up is great, maybe take a quick walk or grab the phone and contact someone you've been putting off calling. I subscribe to this website called flylady, for getting yourself organized (since I became so obsessed with this A. that I let my life fall into chaos) and she has 2 ideas that I think we could apply to our situations.

1. You can do anything for 15 minutes. If you make your task too big and overwhelming, you'll either never want to start or you'll get discouraged right away and give up but you can do something for just 15 minutes and eventually, it'll get done. So maybe if we say, I won't call him or contact him in the next 15 minutes, the urge will pass for a while.

2. She says it takes 28 days to develop a new habit, so even though it seems like a long time, maybe if we can make 28 days, then not contacting them will be our new, good habit and won't feel so strange?

Anyway, I'm going to try it 15 minutes at a time. Best of luck!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
In reply to: dipss
Wed, 10-13-2004 - 11:16am
Hey Free and Smart!

Well thank you for the great advice. I just have to figure out what I can do to replace that feeling with something appropriate or satisfying enough. I know, I know...what you will say Free...call your husband! I know it sounds bad...but unfortunatly sometimes that is not good enough...at least right now. BUT I am not saying I will not try that. I actually do that sometimes but of course he has no idea why I really need him at that point in time and often he is just busy at work and doesnt realize how badly i may need him at that point. Why would he right?

For now...I guess coming here will have to help me through some of those very emotionally uncomfortable times.

Wish I could post some of the great posts I have read here above my desk...but I guess that would be a hard one to explain now wouldnt it?

Thanks for all your support. I was thinking last night...it is amazing that people we dont even know are helping us get through such a difficult time. Truly amazing. I think of you all often while I am struggling through some tough moments and then I realize I dont even personally know you. Crazy!

Ok...wishing you all a happy day full of strength and "dignity"!!

xo!!!!

Dipss

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