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| Sun, 07-18-2004 - 11:03pm |
Well, it's now been almost three years since we've been working in different cities. He also lives almost 90 minutes away from me. I never see him. We maybe get together once a month. We talk by phone every day and e-mail every day but other than our 'once-a-month', I never see him. And if he's busy with work, we don't talk that much either. And he's frequently busy at work.
About 18 months ago, I had him investigated (not followed, just investigated) and found out that a lot of things he has told me about his past are not quite true, but most men want to be more than they are. Recently I accidentally found out that he isn't all that busy at work; he does a lot of personal stuff, goes across the street to the coffeehouse for coffee, talks with other women at work. I also accidentally found out recently that his wife is very ill (I didn't find it out from him), so it's not that she WON'T sleep with him, as he had inferred indirectly over the years (he won't talk about her), but she CAN'T sleep with him.
He has never told me he loves me. He has told me I am the only friend he has (gee, I wonder why?). I can live with all this. I know -- I've known from the beginning -- that he's not in love with me. What I can't handle is: I've asked him repeatedly to take a day off from work (gee, just ONE WHOLE DAY in three years), so that we could spend some time together, and he's always been too busy with work. But in the past three years, he's taken a lot of time off work to go skiing with his family, and when his son and grandchildren are visiting from back east, he takes a lot of time off to be with them (it doesn't matter what time of the year his son visits). When I've confronted him with this, he says, "First things first," or "How many times have I told you not to read into things?" Oh, and recently I had an opportunity to transfer to his workplace and when I told him, he went through the roof. He said that if I work there everyone in his building will find out about us. The laughable thing is that everyone has known about us from the beginning, both in my building and his building. It was great gossip before he transferred.
Come on, people. I'm intelligent, loving, pretty, got a good figure -- I can do better than this, right? After all, 'better' wouldn't take very much, would it?

If better means first place in his life rather then 5th then go for it, after all first things first and it's about time you put yourself first and had someone who could and would do that, say someone single, and there are lots of them out there now a days.
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