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|Sat, 05-10-2003 - 1:13am|
Here's my story. I met a man, he was wonderful. Weeks went by and I started to feel something was wrong. He lives an hour away from me, so I went to where he lived and found out (OUCH) that he's married. I saw him that same night and told him it was over. He kissed my ass and I gave in. Everytime I see him it's the same thing. I yell, scream, holler, blah blah blah, and then he talks to me calmly and I forgive him. We have sex, I wake up in the morning and guess who is gone? I feel bad....I yell I scream ....and he calms me down. He tells me it won't be over, because he doesnt want it to be over. He also claims I will have his baby. Good lord is that what I want!! He said as long as we are dating, I am not to go out with anyone.....and if he catches me with anyone....he will break my jaw. He is from Jamaica. I guess it doesn't matter where he is from, but he claims that things are different over in Jamaica..but I keep telling him guess what! We are NOT in jamaica. So the other night I found out where he lived. I went to his house in the middle of the night..yeah I'm turning psycho now....and woke up him and his wife. I was crying and blah blah and he wouldn't talk to me. I asked him to talk to me and he wouldn't. I asked her if she was having sex with him and she said of course I am. She told me I was better off finding a nice american and whatever and of course she's gonna say that....she wants her husband, right? So I'm devastated. I can't get this idiot out of my head. The next day he calls me and I break down crying. He drives up here to see me. He swears on his life, his moms and his kids, that he has not slept with her since I have met him and He's going to leave her. Just give it time. Give it time so he can cheat on me ???? I say these things because I'm not stupid, I know what's going on. But I can't seem to break it off. Before me going to his house, he came to my house one night and I went as far as not answering the door. Well...ummm I guess he really wanted to talk to me becuase he kicked in the door, cracking the wood. A few days later he brought his friend over and they fixed it. I seriously thought I needed to get a restraining order on the man but when I went to talk to a lady at a domestic violence shelter here in town, she said I would have to go to the police and they would arrest him. Well something must seriously be wrong with my head, I don't want him to go to jail, so I left. He lies to me all the time and I know it. I'm heart broken when he's not here. I dream up all this stuff of what he must be doing with his wife. I'm 100% positive he married her for a green card, isn't that quaint? Good lord. So what can this man possibly offer me? NOTHING So why am I still letting him fill my head with all these lies, when I know they aren't even true. To tell the truth, I'm afraid of him in away and I get some sort of sick, twisted, demented rush from it. What can I do? HELP!