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| Wed, 01-13-2010 - 1:32pm |
I stopped looking on his myspace, but I haven't stopped looking on her myspace... I know, I didn't divulge all information but I didn't think it was necessary.

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tough love:
Here is what you do. You send an appoligy just something simple. "I'm sorry for all the hurt I have caused the both of you. If I could rewind time I would
Llost....
Let me preface my comments by first saying that all that I am about to say to you is in love....from one sistah to another....this is some serious tough love...
You have GOT to get a grip on yourself -- TODAY!
These comments have my jaw
Hello,
Here is an update:
Blue_Belle you wrote: "Here is what you do. You send an appoligy just something simple."
Thank you, I know that you're trying to be helpful but in this situation no amount of apologizing is going to help. I have apologized, I have stayed out of their lives and I have tried to move on. Unfortunately, they continue to harass me, and now he is asking me for an apology for lying. If you read my previous posts on his wife, you will see that she is not your typical MM's wife. She is psychotic and needs serious help too.
These people are toxic and I am removing myself from the situation. I finally told them to leave me alone or else I will obtain a restraining order on him. In return, she threatened my job... and finally we both reached a point of understanding that we both don't want to go this far and we just want to move on. So we have dropped everything and now I am restarting NC, moving forward and I hope this time it is the end. He should not call me from now on...esp. since I threatened a restraining order.
Now I need to begin the process of healing.
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
NC since Dec. 9th 2009
No Contact = No N
Notbroken... you wrote: "Are you serious? Based on where I sit...you are the one "stalking" them! With all the mess you have been posting on My Space "
Are you serious? What 'mess' have I been posting on myspace? Are you on my friend's list? I have not posted ANYTHING on myspace. I have bit my tongue and have posted on EAS what I would have liked to say to them but I have no posted anything on my myspace. I have not contacted them. I have not threatened them. I have left them alone. If you reread my posts, have you read the stuff he posted about me on his myspace?
Wow.. I mean... WOW... I am flaggasted that everything that I have been through you all stick up for them. You all portray me as some psycho OW that stalks them, and pries into their lives. It is far from that. If anything, sure, I am curious like any other human being and I have snooped on his myspace and caught stuff he wrote about me... sure, that brought me angry...who wouldn't be upset with the stuff he posts on his myspace?
But have I EVER illegally broke a barrier? Nope. Have I ever interfered in their marriage after D-Day? Nope.
Maybe I am jeopardizing my own healing process, yes... I understand that I am setting myself up for heartache...but I have been keeping no contact.
I have been being productive... I can say, more so then most that are on EAS, that I HAVE deleted his text messages, I have erased his pictures, I have thrown away, gave to charity, cut up his stuff he gave me...
I have started hiking. I set up an appointment with my therapist for this Saturday. I am eating healthy. I have picked up a hobby...and I'm involved in volunteer stuff. I am moving along.
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
NC since Dec. 9th 2009
No Contact = No N
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
NC since Dec. 9th 2009
No Contact = No N
LLost....
You wrote:
"Maybe I am jeopardizing my own healing process, yes... "
Yes you most definitely are and who is more important to you -- you or them?
"I have started hiking. I set up an appointment with my therapist for this Saturday. I am eating healthy. I have picked up a hobby...and I'm involved in volunteer stuff. I am moving along."
Great new to hear lost. Volunteering and a hobby are great things to do.
for the record... I'm not on their side. I think your xap is a real piece of work :| I also think his wife is naive for believing a word he says.
The wife: imagne you are in her shoes and madly in love with him: would you grasp at straws trying to keep him cause you have a new born with him?
You're not listening to anything anyone here is telling you.
If you were really moving on, you'd stop engaging in the drama.
Lost,
You've been posting on EAS and MAS a long time, under this name and your other one.
Lost,
I am late chiming in and I think enough has been said, and I have to agree with most, of it. Have talked to you on and off boards...got a little sense of you from our posts, chats, etc...
N we both started NC about the same time(so I thought), except cyber contact and contact with his wife...which you should have been counting in your time frame, when u had cut her off....when you thought you and her were friends...etc...
Guess that all does not matter. What I want to say is this...time and time again I and others have told you about changing your number, you were supposed to look into blocking him and then the calls kept coming and I still said (as well as others) CHANGE your number...but for whatever reason you did not.
So in many ways YOU have continued to let yourself be hurt. End it. U can. If you were just as fervent in letting this thing go as your are in cyber contact, you would be so much farther along...I am proof of that...
Now, i know people deal with things differently and all that....but I have stayed on this path because as much as it hurts, everyday i am a little better, everyday, I notice I think of him less and less, everyday, I learn something about myself....I even learn how I got to even be involved with him and why I continued even after I knew he was married.
Am I over it, hell no, but I am healing, I am seeing a light so to speak, a light at the end of the tunnel(or whatever you want to call it), a light that you should be seeing. I wish you were where I was....it hurts, but I can honestly see that I am beginning to HEAL. I am drama free.
No, I do not think I am better than you...NO, I dont even think I am better equipped...This is not a competition, I need to make that clear. I just think I have really stuck to what people on this board who have OUR BEST INTERESTS in mind because they have BTDT.
You are young, but your feisty, and those are good things...when channeled in a positive way. I have a little (my baby) sister, she is your age and I would hate to think of someone like yourself, with your whole life ahead of you, the opportunities are endless, to continue to be in your current state.
NO ONE on here is on their side, there are no sides to this, you just do not like what you hear sometimes...you tend to take things personally...and I admit some people were harsh...but I imagine they feel like they have to get thru to you and being "nice" has not cut it. They laid it into you today...I see that. And I get you needing a shoulder...and we are all here for you, but we are not going to let you continue to self destruct before our eyes....we can only let you lean on us so much, you have to stand on your own as well. YOU have to do your part. N you just seem to refuse to.
U should have come here when you felt the urge to even look at her or his page...but perhaps you would have done it anyway...and nothing we could have said would have stopped you...
U posted a post a couple of days ago about how you just felt bad, i responded to it briefly...I bet had you been truly NC for all the time you stated days like those would be less and less and if you had days like those, they would be for a couple of hours a day, or even moments...It does get better, you can be drama free, you can end this...U Have the power, you have just been using it elsewhere...
Remember this...it might be years later, but remember this. I am older than you, actually over 10 years, there are women on this board 10 or more years older than me, not only have they BTDT, they are older and wiser, by far WISER than you or I (not necessarily talking book smarts here). HUMBLE yourself among them. Learn from them. As Clarity clearly stated, they is nothing that you or I or anyone else on this board can pull over their eyes. They know the deal...no matter what you post. They simply know.
This board is only as good as you make it for you. Money or a T can not give me or anyone for that matter, what I have gotten here. It's just not possible.
Oh and change the number...n ask yourself why u have not done so already?
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