Help - actually the other 4 letter word
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Help - actually the other 4 letter word
| Sun, 01-31-2010 - 3:33pm |
My X-EAP, and my sister, who live near each other, are getting together for lunch next week.
I am feeling a cornucopia of emotions, none of them good.

I'm
Comments and
Is there any way you could have a talk with your sister about xeap? Give her the heads up?
If it were a friend I would not suggest this, but she is your blood and deserves a warning.
Hi bluebelle,
I don't feel comfortable telling her the truth. You see, at the beginning of the EA (good friend stage) I talked about him alot, and she was already suspicious. I clammed up about him in the throes of the EA and now months later I have hopefully convinced her that life went on and I got busy and the friendship petered out.
When she told me they were going to have lunch I acted mildly interested and said oh have fun. I could be wrong but I don't think they're going to have an affair themselves. My sister is highly moralistic and would never consider such a thing (Although a year ago I wouldn't have either :-( ) and if she did find out she would tell his wife and my husband because it's the "right thing to do."
And my husband did not deserve any of this and neither did my x-eap's wife.
I can only hope that he doesn't tell her and if he does I will deny deny deny!
Bingo!
I don't think that there will be an affair, but I am feeling regret and jealousy that she gets to be friends with him and I end up with nothing. I guess I am still working through all of this. I am also feeling panic, but like I said to bluebelle I will deny.
In the end I guess I cant control anything...and you are right, I need to stay busy.
THANK YOU victoryismine2007
I've read all the other ladies reasonable post, so I thought I post my completely inappropriate comment for kicks -- and please keep in mind that I am HOTheaded Sicilian.
For this, I might consider breaking NC AND my xAP's neck. But that is ONLY if I were really sure my sister could not be trusted with a slightly softened view of the A and respect the polite request that she avoid a friendship with this particular person for the sake of not upsetting me by bringing this man into my realm of being. Expressing regret and the struggle in self esteem and such might help her to want to help you. BUT, if you can't trust her to be discreet, that is not good.
I would not actually advise this, but I would be so tempted to break NC just to say, "Say away from my sister, you BlankBlank, or I'll be forced to consider some very drastic measures." (or, I'd say "have your f*ckn knees broken." But my parole officer told me that one more time and its 5-10 for me! wouldn't risk that!) ha.
Back to reality. Please try to not stress over this. I don't think you mentioned if sister and X are already friends, but, if they are not, then what are the chances they'll hit it off and see each other more? Not high, I would think. But, even if they do, you will have been doing lots of work on yourself, making your healing your number one priority, and you'll soon be to a healthy place where you don't even really care about something like this. Right?
Good luck with everything (and remember, ignore the crazy part of this post!!)
Cheers,
Dee
"I could be wrong but I don't think they're going to have an affair themselves. My sister is highly moralistic and would never consider such a thing (Although a year ago I wouldn't have either :-( ) and if she did find out she would tell his wife and my husband because it's the "right thing to do.""
I was also that "moralistic" person too. I could never have imagined I could be capable of an A, but I'm human. She might just surprise you.
I would not tell her about your A