Help dealing with the past
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| Fri, 05-14-2004 - 7:18pm |
My A was the second time around for my MM and me. We had been together for six years, broken up for a year then I allowed it to start up again. During the year away from my MM, I was dating a very nice, sweet man. I broke up with Mr. Sweetie and broke his heart after a few rendezvous with my MM. What a fool I was.
In March I ended it w/ MM – AGAIN! After a week or so of him calling me, emailing me, sending text messages, we’ve maintained NC since March 25. WHEW! What a relief to be rid of a man who lied to everyone around him, even those he “loved the most”, his two college-age kids.
I’ve started to see Mr. Sweetie again and it’s been great. We started over, getting to know each other again. He never knew about my six-year affair. Should I tell him? Maybe if it gets more serious? I’ve told a few fibs to cover up things MM and I did over the years; places we visited, concerts, etc. I don’t want to hide the truth from him but I hate to damage a new relationship by spilling this unpleasant secret about myself. What do you think?
Reading these posts has helped me immensely to stay on track and to know I did the right thing to end my affair. I’m so much happier in my soul. Thank you all so much!!

I'm not sure what I would do about telling your bf about your affair. For some guys it may turn them off and make them view you differently. However, I'm a big advocate for honesty in a relationship (now THERE'S a laugh, huh?) and if you can't be honest with him about everything, then what do you have???? But you know him best. I don't find it to be necessary to tell someone EVERYTHING....but there is no reason to keep secrets also. I don't know.....its a tough call.
Good luck with everything!!
big hugs
dharma