Help--getting very weak

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2010
Help--getting very weak
3
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 4:32pm

ok


multiple posts in one day for me


18 month A has gone into NC for week after parnter had a

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 4:44pm

Jimmy!!!! STOP.

STOP. STOP.

Breathe.

You are not weak.

YOU ARE STRONG.

You can do this. Hang in there. I am here if you need to talk through this. Do not contact here.

If you care about her at all, LEAVE HER ALONE and let her sort out this mess on her own.

Keep posting. Post her instead of emailing her. I promise you, I PROMISE YOU- nothing good will come out of emailing her. Been there, done that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2010
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 6:01pm

you are very kind to be so supportive


wow


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 6:32pm

Jimmy-


I remember your post from a week or so ago right after your xap had a DDay and I told you to not contact her. If you care about her at all, you must remain in no contact. Like I said when you first posted, I wish my xap had stayed away after my first DDay. Unfortunately, he didn't and I had to experience 3 more DDays- worse yet my DH did and that's what kills me.


If she's made a choice to work it out with her H, then you have no choice but to move on. It will be hard. You will want to hear from her, but no contact is a gift you give to yourself and to her. You both have to deal with your ending in your own way. The problem cannot be the solution. You can do it, but it won't be easy.


All of us here know what the struggle is like. I think of my xap often. I wonder how he's doing, but I also realize that it's none of my concern anymore. Our relationship was born of lies and that's all it was. As soon as you can accept that, it will be easier to move on. You deserve more. You deserve to be someone's number one priority, just like the rest of us.


I know it hurts. Believe me, I know. We all know. It sucks. But you will get through it- you will. Trudge through this muck, feel the pain, but know that it will get better. I promise. I am day 39 NC today. Have I had setbacks? Yes. Have I wanted to reach out to him? Yes. Have I? No, and the result is that I am recovering. With each day I grow stronger. Each day I heal a little more. I know you feel like there's a hole in your heart and that you will never recover, but you will. Keep posting here. We are here to support you.


Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/