Help! I need a wake up call.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2010
Help! I need a wake up call.
8
Wed, 06-09-2010 - 7:55pm
I should be ashamed of myself for still having feelings for AP and having a hard time ending it. I'm pregnant and I love DH very much but I can't seem to walk away from my A of two years. I thought the pregnancy was gonna help both of us stay away from each other and we haven't been successful at ending it.
AP is married too. We both have no intentions of leaving our spouses and kids.
Help! I need a wake up call. A is both emotional and physical, but mostly emotional now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Wed, 06-09-2010 - 8:43pm

Welcome to EAS.


If you continue,

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Wed, 06-09-2010 - 9:43pm

WOW is all that i can say.. E1, that letter is amazing and renews my already steadfast determination to remain A free.


Mom, please know that your A HAS to end and you have to do it for you and your family. You will never be free from the constant drama and roller coaster of emotions until you do. End it now so you can savor these moments in your life, so you can really live in the moment with those that truly love you and would move mountains for you.


We will lead you if you will follow.


GMLB


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 7:42am

MB,


You've received some powerful responses. I would welcome you to the board but really can't until we hear that you have officially ended your A. Now, of all times, should be about the beautiful gift you carry inside of you. My children are all grown but there are times I drift back to that special time when they were born, and I tear up with the joy those moments brought me. I wish the same for you.


An A is, by far, the most ugly of betrayals. They represent weakness, selfishness, and lack of self love. Becoming a mom is about strength, selflessness, and unconditional love. It's time to get your priorities straight and fine tune your perspective in life. Perhaps by saying that any man who

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 8:26am
You have feelings for your AP-that's what makes it so hard to end. We all had/have feelings for our AP and are going through/went through the same pain you are. But end you must. I was in the situation you are-neither one of us would have left our spouses or the life we'd created with them. So now I'm asking myself, why did I have an EA with my friend? What was the point? Because it felt good. It felt good to have that intoxicating attention. Because it felt good to experience emotions I hadn't felt with my DH in years. But guess what? It didn't feel good to have a D-day. It didn't feel good to hear him say "I love my wife." It didn't feel good to live through the silence of my phone or wonder why he wasn't trying harder to save our friendship. I would encourage you to face the pain now, not later, when you have a new baby. Simply having a baby will not keep the two of you away from each other. YOU will keep the two of you away from each other. Deep in your heart, you know the A isn't right, but all the emotions cloud your judgement. My point is: your A WILL end at some time. Right now you have some control over how it ends. I wish I would have been mature enough to end it on my own but all the "feel-goods" got in the way.


Edited 6/10/2010 9:35 am ET by room_to_grow
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2009
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 8:49am
Hi mom_belle, I saw you have opted to not receive email. Could you please send me an email? Just click my name (How To Get Out) and I hope to hear from you. Big hugs!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2009
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 8:55am

Hi!


A wake-up call, huh??

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2010
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 9:45am
wow, that letter was just what i needed as well. thank you for posting. mom, i keep seeing my sons eyes looking at me crying and asking me "why do you have to leave AGAIN today mommy?" its the worst pain in the world. so much worse than the pain i feel being away from ExAP, which has only been 2 days so i know it will get better. Please listen, be strong.


Edited 6/10/2010 9:53 am ET by seekanend
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2010
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 8:06pm

Thank you so much for your posts and for making me feel welcome. My feelings haven't been that strong for xAP or should I say almost xAP since I found out I was pregnant. I know for sure that this is DH's baby because I was on the pill for a while and got pregnant right away with DH as soon as we started trying. The hard part is, we work in the same building and I see him everyday. Some days, my feelings seem stronger, some days they aren't as strong.
It's difficult... but reading the messages on this board helps a lot.

Thank you again.