HELP.. im LC..and barely coping

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2009
HELP.. im LC..and barely coping
38
Mon, 01-04-2010 - 10:40am
Well i decided to come and post on here before doing something silly like talking to xAP..we're here at work after NC over the holidays..i ended it just before the holidays..my 4th try..today is very rough. he's not talking to me and acting mad and sad. how do i deal with this..i'm hurting so much inside as it is, without needing to feel HIS pain..HELP..

Sunshine


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Sunshine

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 10:06am

Mornin' :)


So, he's Mr. Icy this morning and could be that tomorrow he will be Mr. Pouty, or Mr. Sad or Mr. Glad. He's got to go through all the emotions of a break up too, and there is nothing you can do about it...he has to accept the end...in his own way.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 10:27am

I'm not angry with you Sunshine, not at all.

Onward and upward.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2009
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 10:31am

Clarity..you got it..i'm feeling badly for him but i can't reach out to him..this is difficult for me as i'm always the first to comfort people. But it's my battle and i have to fight it.


Why am i afraid of him communicating..because it will by yet another time when i'll have to hurt him. If he says something nice to me, that is. Or if he says something cold, then i'll feel hurt. If he says something neutral then i'm hurting because i miss him. Any communication is hurtful. Even the silent one that we're having right now. Not talking to each other. We work in a small office and so far our communication has been VERY limited but the real problem for me is keeping it that way, it's almost like going against my nature. We've talked to each other so freely and so much for all this time and now i have to learn to not do that, ie. to ignore an email to which i'd normally respond and we'd chat.

Sunshine

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2009
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 10:37am

he is being more icy than angry. Just withdrawn in his own shell and avoiding communciation with me. I guess i should be happy since this is what i asked for. I'm feeling sad but telling myself to hold on..to just make it thru. I can't see beyond that point right now or hope for anything.


what should i be telling myself on my 2nd LC day?

Sunshine


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Sunshine

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 10:49am

Well then refer him (anonymously) to this Board so we can teach him NC = NNH ;)


He's just like anyone of us who goes through a breakup.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2009
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 1:19pm
Hi there waiting..........i just came across your posting this morning and when i read it, i could not believe that someone was going through the same exact thing that i am going through.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2009
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 2:39pm

Lost - Thank you so much. Yes it sounds like we are going thru the same thing..I hope today is better for you.


My day is better than yesterday. I had a bit more LC today but he seems cold and distant. Which is fine, i guess, because this is what i asked for..


Here's my support to you - we're in this together..we can do it..

Sunshine


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Sunshine

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2009
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 5:28pm
Pulse Check.....how's it going so far?

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