Help me KEEP NC/LC!!!!
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Help me KEEP NC/LC!!!!
| Fri, 10-22-2010 - 1:01pm |
It has been a while since posting and I've been doing really, really well until yesterday.
We had a company get together, it was a lot of fun and XAP and I both had a little much to drink but

Crazy girl,
Tough Love coming your way, get ready! Your post said a lot of things that XAp did.
I want to honor your courage in coming to the board to post your experience. However, I can't help but wonder where you have been lately, why you haven't been posting and how this may be contributing to this stinking thinking. I also wonder what might have been different it you had shared here first that you were planning on attending a social function where your xAP would be. I wonder what could have been prevented.
Sooooo, here we go:
You made some bad decisions here - the first was your choice to drink. That's why it is one of the LC/NC rules. You know what drinking does, how it lowers boundaries and reduces capable decision making processes. You also chose to stay at the party after he started being inappropriate. We can't possibly know what he was thinking and whether or not it was related to drinking. All we can do is to assist you is to to ask you to consider what YOU were thinking and what YOU were doing to put yourself into this position (repeatedly) throughout the evening and why you DID NOT remove yourself from the situation by leaving the party?
Yes, I know you "should" be able to go to a company function ... however the "reality" is, if you want to be as successful as possible at getting over the affair and affair partner, then these such occasions are luxuries that you and i and the others on this board can not afford. They are not an option unless you are truly able/willing to make choices that keep YOU safe.
Your post is a poignant reminder of how f*ched up things get very quickly, and a timely reminder as we start to head into various holiday seasons.
I also don't understand what you mean by "help me stay NC". You are surely NOT thinking about furthering the damage to yourself/esteem by contacting him? You know so much better than that. You've been on here long enough to know what that's going to do to you. Did you read Alice's post this morning? Do you feel her hurting, her self-loathing and regret? Please learn from this and use it to grow past this experience.
"Can I excuse this whole situation and chalk it up to him being drunk, drinking too much, see i feel like we (in his eyes) have made amends and are right back where we left off."
If you feel this way, then you have left stuff out of your post ... because all you have detailed are all the things HE did. What would lead him to believe that you are back to where you left of?
TU.
CG,
I'm glad you posted.
hi crazygirl4sure
i am new to this board, but will say, IMHO, that you sure were being a CRAZY girl for sure!
you said
"Can I excuse this whole situation and chalk it up to him being drunk,
I don't want to hijack the thread, but welcome Melinda.