Help me let this go
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Help me let this go
| Fri, 01-07-2005 - 12:18pm |
My A "officially" ended on Sunday. We both knew it had to happen; there can be no other way. There is just one thing that he has done since that hurt me deeply, though. I can't get past it. We exchanged a few gifts and cards and that sort of thing, of course. One thing I gave him was a hat that belonged to my dad. My dad died a few years ago and it was special to me. I had told him that he reminded me of my dad. I know he couldn't keep it now; I thought he would return it to me "anonymously" and that would be the end of it. Both of our spouses know about the A. So his wife came over this week and asked me "if I want the hat back or if she should get rid of it." That hurt more than anything. I know she meant well and was also pointing out that he is telling her EVERYTHING. Okay, I can deal with that -- it's the only way and I am doing the same with my DH. But couldn't he have let that one little thing go? Why did he have to tell her about the hat?! I have tried to put it out of my mind because I know it really doesn't matter. But I have been unsuccessful. Did he just want to hurt me?

at least you have that special hat back. don't let a coward tie you in knots.
hugs,
kat
Thank you, Kat.
When I said his wife meant well, I only meant because at least I got it back instead of her trashing it or something. She definitely did it to send me a statement or whatever. But I deserve it.
Maybe he also wanted to show me that he has absolutely no loyalty to me anymore? Whatever. I am just mad because I basically made the decision to end things and told him to return to his wife and I have been really strong. She probably thinks he dumped me and that bothers me.
Hi,
I think you are being too hard on him. If he is getting advice on what he should be doing to save his marriage, no doubt he has learned that he has to tell her EVERYTHING that transpires between the two of you. If he sees you at a gas station, he has to tell her. This is avoid any and all chance that in the future she'll learn about it and wipe out the second chance she has given him.
I don't see it as a cowardly thing at all. He's doing what he is supposed to be doing to save his marriage. Don't see it as a reflection on his feelings for you. You are being too hard on yourself too.
1T