Help me to put my ex-OM to the test
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Help me to put my ex-OM to the test
| Tue, 10-26-2004 - 10:46am |
I need to know how my ex-OM feels and if he is just playing me or if he really cares. I am going through a divorce and ex-OM doesn't want to get involved in it. He knows that he is part of the reason that I am getting divorced. We used to talk about a future together, but nothing definite. He is single and dating. He really doesn't know how to be there for me emotionally. He has always been like this with any woman that he has been married to. He tried to cheer me up with little things that he would do or say in the beginning of my divorce proceedings. He never wanted to talk about the divorce, but he would come around at work and tease me or pick at me to cheer me up. He knew that I was hurting and this was the only way that he knew how to respond to me. Now that the divorce is getting close to being over, he is pulling away again. I can't stand this any longer. I don't want to ask him how he feels and if we have a future because I already know what he'll say. He'll say that he doesn't know. I also know that he is scared of marriage because he has had two failed marriages and the wives left him. I am sure that he probably figures that now that the divorce is close to being over that I am going to want a committment from him. He was so attentive in the beginning of the divorce and now he is distancing himself. I am tired of this and want to know his true feelings. Since i know that I won't get a straight answer from him, should I enforce NC? Should I go on with my life and pretend that I don't have feelings for him and see what he does? Please don't be harsh and tell me to forget him. I just want to know so I can get on with my life.

I'm not going to say you should just forget him, although perhaps that is what you need to do. I don't know that. But I will say this. At the least, you should just try and shelve the matter with him right how. You say in your post that he's going to think you want a committment from him. Well don't you? Isn't that what this is all about? Don't you want to know whether you're going to be with him, and therefore, isn't that about committment? Obviously, he's not interested in that at this moment, or he'd be pursuing it. I would just focus on you and leave the rebound man on his own. If it's meant to be, it will be. But I would also consider this...he's been married twice before. Does this sound to you like an ideal candidate for a future? I'd be hesitant if I were you. But that's just me.
silly
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