Yes, this is one of the many stages of recovery, and it too will pass. Of course you feel grief and remorse. And you are experiencing the withdrawal from the addiction. Trust me, Alice, you will not always feel like this. You must force yourself to get up, do things you enjoy, and be present in your real life now. You are allowed to wallow in self pity for a bit, but don't get stuck there. Pull yourself out. You have a choice. You can either let this consume you and continue to take you away from the things that really matter, or you can let it go and start participating in your family again. You are still allowing him to have power over you. Stop it. Remember what your daughter said about you being back? Don't prove her wrong. You owe it to her. Now is the time to fake it till you make it. It works.
Alice, honey!!!! kisses and hugs! Yes, btdt -- still dealing with it. Gee whiz, didn't I post the exact thing, like, 5 months ago? did you copy and paste??? I'm getting a little sick of you guys stealing my posts! ;)
Depression is debilitating. It's not really just sadness -- it's called depression for a good reason; it pushes you DOWN. Keeps you from taking action. This is why all of those anti-depression medications come with the warning that after you take them for a bit you might feel suicidal. Ironic, isn't it? but, it's because once one starts to come out of the depression, even if it's just chemically, one will suddenly begin feeling like they can 'take action' make a plan, if you will, even a really crappy plan. At least you realize that you are depressed. This is, er, great? At least now you can address it head on, instead of walking around in a clueless haze. You know you need therapy. Here is my advice to you, Love: get off your ever-broadening a$$ and go get it! ;) The Dee commands it!
I expect a post from you by 5:00 pm (pt) letting us know that you have made your appointment.
I have just read your post after a day away from the computer.
I just wanted to say that I am going through what you are going through. I feel almost totally unable to get out of bed, and when I do, I feel like I just ache all over. Like the flu kinda aches. I feel like every waking moment is just putting in time. I have to do so much self talk to get moving. I tell myself, 'just stand up' and then okay, 'just go start cleaning the kitchen'. I'll turn on some music because it helps me. I usually find if I can get myself out of bed, into the kitchen, then I can usually get out of the house. It's sad though, I have developed some kind of anxiety symptoms. I feel anxious going grocery shopping, and even sometimes I am anxious to be alone with my kids - like what if I can't meet their needs. It is a horrible feeling. Some days are worse than others. I have found my running group to be a lifeline - and I try really hard to make it to each group run EVEN when I can hardly make it to the car. I say to myself, 'self - you gotta promise yourself that you're not going to give up - i know it hurts, i know it's hard, but get up'.
I don't know what I would do without this board. I am quite certain you have all helped me to help save my life. I am happy that we can be here for you too Alice. So that you can know that you are not alone and that we care about you.
Yes, this is one of the many stages of recovery, and it too will pass. Of course you feel grief and remorse. And you are experiencing the withdrawal from the addiction. Trust me, Alice, you will not always feel like this. You must force yourself to get up, do things you enjoy, and be present in your real life now. You are allowed to wallow in self pity for a bit, but don't get stuck there. Pull yourself out. You have a choice. You can either let this consume you and continue to take you away from the things that really matter, or you can let it go and start participating in your family again. You are still allowing him to have power over you. Stop it. Remember what your daughter said about you being back? Don't prove her wrong. You owe it to her. Now is the time to fake it till you make it. It works.
Hugs,
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Alice, honey!!!! kisses and hugs! Yes, btdt -- still dealing with it. Gee whiz, didn't I post the exact thing, like, 5 months ago? did you copy and paste??? I'm getting a little sick of you guys stealing my posts! ;)
Depression is debilitating. It's not really just sadness -- it's called depression for a good reason; it pushes you DOWN. Keeps you from taking action. This is why all of those anti-depression medications come with the warning that after you take them for a bit you might feel suicidal. Ironic, isn't it? but, it's because once one starts to come out of the depression, even if it's just chemically, one
will suddenly begin feeling like they can 'take action' make a plan, if you will, even a really crappy plan. At least you realize that you are depressed. This is, er, great? At least now you can address it head on, instead of walking around in a clueless haze. You know you need therapy. Here is my advice to you, Love: get off your ever-broadening a$$ and go get it! ;) The Dee commands it!
I expect a post from you by 5:00 pm (pt) letting us know that you have made your appointment.
Loving you extra hard today,
Dee
alice,
I'm so sorry to hear how down you are feeling today, especially after reading such positive posts from you recently.
Hi Alice,
Just wanted to offer ((hugs)) and solidarity.
Keep us posted,
Prudence
Alice,
I just wanted to say I really feel your pain.
Dear Alice,
I have just read your post after a day away from the computer.
I just wanted to say that I am going through what you are going through. I feel almost totally unable to get out of bed, and when I do, I feel like I just ache all over. Like the flu kinda aches. I feel like every waking moment is just putting in time. I have to do so much self talk to get moving. I tell myself, 'just stand up' and then okay, 'just go start cleaning the kitchen'. I'll turn on some music because it helps me. I usually find if I can get myself out of bed, into the kitchen, then I can usually get out of the house. It's sad though, I have developed some kind of anxiety symptoms. I feel anxious going grocery shopping, and even sometimes I am anxious to be alone with my kids - like what if I can't meet their needs. It is a horrible feeling. Some days are worse than others. I have found my running group to be a lifeline - and I try really hard to make it to each group run EVEN when I can hardly make it to the car. I say to myself, 'self - you gotta promise yourself that you're not going to give up - i know it hurts, i know it's hard, but get up'.
I don't know what I would do without this board. I am quite certain you have all helped me to help save my life. I am happy that we can be here for you too Alice. So that you can know that you are not alone and that we care about you.
HUGS to help the hurt,
TU.
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou