Help me..i need to stop letting him in

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Help me..i need to stop letting him in
2
Fri, 03-25-2005 - 7:55am
Help. I need help..from any of you here..I have been involved for four years with a MM on and off. I am also married. He is from my past..The relationship is toxic..because he has many narcissistic traits..and that alone makes the whole thing horrible. I am married to a wonderful man--but the MM always finds a way to end things, saying things that contradict what he's said for weeks. Then we have no contact for awhile..sometimes a few weeks, sometimes a few months. And wham..somehow he emails me..leaves me a voice mail on my cell..something. I end up falling for his words again..only to be spit back out. I am tired of it. I am not even wanting this anymore..I need to be done and MEAN IT>and I've thought I meant it each time..!! Now, at times I have emailed him first --but he then will want me back etc. It's all stupid, dysfunctional and I want out. I am not going to live my life this way anymore. He's messed up and I guess what I need help with is how to end it this time for GOOD. If I email him, he'll respond with something just as mean. Do I block his email? I just need tips on how to end this and MEAN it and never go back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2004
Fri, 03-25-2005 - 8:11am

Lea-

You don't have any contact with him PERIOD. Block his emails, his calls...whatever you have to do. Although you say you don't want this anymore, you are getting something out of it and that is keeping you right where you say you don't want to be. YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHOOSE YOUR NEXT MOVE. He can say nothing to break your resolve if you don't allow it.

I was in an A for 7 months....the usual on again, off again situation. But there comes a day...when enough becomes enough and you do what you have to...not necessarily what you want too.

Good luck....

SS

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Fri, 03-25-2005 - 8:38am

lea,

start with things that u can control

- de-activate email account where MM emails you, dont use it anymore, tell your other friends about your new email

- change cell phone number, if possible change home phone number too

start with this, its all up to u to stop all the misery and pain

welcome to the board

max