Help please
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 02-17-2004 - 10:09am |
First, I'm angry at myself for not doing what I need to do. Why can't I just tell him it's over. Every says, that when I'm ready I'll do it. I feel ready right now. I feel like a balloon that has been filled with to much air. All, I need is that one thing and I will blow.
Then, I'm angry at MM. He is such a liar. He's a coward. I hate the games that he plays with my emotions. He is so cocky, and sure of himself. Sure, that I will continue to put up with all this nonsense.
I promised myself that when/if MM moved out, that I would not react like I did last time. I promised myself that my time was too valuable to be chasing him all around town trying to see what he is doing.
Well, he supposedly left his W last night. Although, I doubt that he did. My first instinct was to be late for work, and see if he if his car was at home this morning. I hate playing the detective.
I need to keep my promise to myself and not play detective, my time is valuable, and I have other things to do. He is not worth any of time.
Please send me some positive vibes. Hoping that I can endure this first day.

When you want to contact xmm, post here instead it really does help.
My A ended in Sept and I had no idea that I would go through the huge range of emotions that I did. Everyday it was different. Somedays I was sad, others hurt, then angry. You name it and it hit me. Eventually happiness will return. Which is where I am at right now. I actually just saw xmm a few minutes ago, driving down the street while I was out for a walk. We exchanged a friendly wave and that was it. A few months ago, I would have had a much different reaction. So it will get better.
Now that it's been several months I feel like I am back to myself and I am so happy with my life the way it is right now.
Best of luck to you on this journey.