Help Please/Back Again
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Help Please/Back Again
| Sun, 04-04-2004 - 11:37am |
Not sure who will remember me, I haven't been around awhile. But, I'm back b/c I returned to my MM....and I HATE myself for it. We stayed apart for about 3 months, although since we work together we never had 'NC'. we ended up together last week and I'm just sick over it! I want him to feel like a booty call but I think I was the victim! (Yes I fell for him and become weak if the opportunity arises) I don't know who I"m more angry at hm or me:| What is my problem??? I know part of it is I just want to be loved! Yes, I know this isn't love and that he cannot love me nor would a relationship work with him even if he did leave his wife. (I'm not that dumb)I see ALL of the red flags...they don't seem to matter. I know he isn't worth any of my energy and I deserve so much better. I am SO PISSED! When will this be worth letting go of???!! When can I be strong enough?? I try to think the worst of him...cuz it's actually true but you kow how that goes. It's hard to want anybody else. I feel like I'm cheating on my MM when I'm with other men...how wrong is that!? I feel so unloveable and unworthy.
No longer lostinpace but stuckinmudd

I feel like s**t, and know that he isn't- Or can't be. its just too damn easy for him to say whatever, and i am hooked like a bloated fish.. just a few typed words and i am in it to the ears and then when none of the promises come through, as usual, i am pissed and start the whole b***hing session over in my emails and text messages and he's gone again..
or was he always gone.. thats what i wonder.. just hang in there.i know that every time i get a bit stronger. i know that with every unfulfilled promise, or waiting for nothing, i gain a tinge of my self esteem back.. i hope soon that its all back for good and that when or if he beckons again i can flip him the bird... lets hope
Edited 4/5/2004 9:00 am ET ET by lostinpace