Hey Bear2092

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Hey Bear2092
2
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 1:07pm
Thanks for your reply. I agree with some of your thoughts. I do plan to try and talk to him. He confuses me a lot because he does act like he cares, but I just don't know how much. He does little things for me at work when he can. He loves to talk to me. He just confuses me because when he does things for me or talks to me, he always finds a business reason to do it, if you understand what I mean. If he does have something to say to me on a personal level, he will try to talk to me when I am leaving for the day or something like that where we aren't alone for more than a few minutes. For instance, he wanted to thank me last month for sending his mother some flowers when she was in the hospital. Instead of calling me or just teling me in front of everyone at work, he waited until I was leaving for the day and he leaned over to me and whispered, "My mother said to thank you for the flowers". On Valentines day he did the same thing. He waited until I was leaving work for the day and when I walked past him he leaned over and whispered, "Happy Valentines Day." So you get the picture. I don't mean to post so much about all of this, but it helps to get it out. Talking about it helos a lot. Thank you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2004
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 1:40pm
This may be a tough pill to swallow but I would give him the cold shoulder for awhile. Don't show any interest in him. This man knows you are waiting in the wings for him and he continues to keep you there with his little comments. I am starting to think you are his back up plan if his current relationship fails. Perhaps his ego is so big he likes to have many woman adore him. I would be interested to hear how he reacts. If he steps up things a notch you know he cares. If he doesn't then you know he doesn't. I think either way you can move on. Look at me giving advice when my life is so messed up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 2:02pm
Hey Bear, I appreciate the advice. I have no problem with the truth, no matter how much it may not be what I want to hear. I want to do this right and not make an idiot of myself in front of him. Oh, I know that he has an ego thing, because he has been burned badly in two past marriages. Both of his wives left him, and I knew him during this time, and he took it very hard. So I know that his ego took a beating. I am sure that he loves for women to pay him attention. Yes, he knows that I want to be with him. My divorce is not final yet, so I know that he won't do anything until it is final. In the meantime, he is dating. I am curious also to see how he acts when I am divorced. I am really curious to see how he acts if I ever do go out on a date with another man. Time will tell.