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Hey Full of love
| Wed, 11-10-2004 - 11:38am |
I need your advice. Okay, my divorce was published in the newspaper. I know OM saw it because he reads the paper faithfully. I made a vow to not approach him about it because I do not want to appear to be throwing myself at him. It has been 3 days since it was in the newspaper. I'm sure OM was probably expecting me to say something to him about it because he knows how much I love him and wanted to be with him. My plan was to not say anything to him about the divorce and just see if he would approach me about it. My emotions are also very screwy right now. OM did come around me on Monday at work, but he had another employee with him. He always makes sure that someone else is with him when he comes around me. Anyway, my emotions started to take over and I started to get very scared and I ignored him totally while he talked to the other employee. I really acted like a bitch. I walked around him several times and never even spoke to him. Then yesterday I did the same thing. He was parked next to where I park when I got to work. He had another employee with him in the work truck. The other employee spoke to me and I smiled and spoke back. I totally ignored OM again. I don't mean to do this because I am normally very friendly. I know what is happening. I get around him and this huge fear sets in that he is not going to want to be with me and I ignore him. I know that he would probably never bring the divorce up in front of other employees. I would have to call him. I felt like he was testing me the last two days to see how I would react to him coming around me, but then again, he had another employee with him when he came around me. I know my actions are telling him that I don't care to talk to him, but that is not how I really feel. That is just the fear in me and my emotions controlling me. I know that I am going to go through a lot of emotions right now. OM has been divorced, so I know that he has experienced this. I know I look like a real bitch to him the way I am acting. I want to talk to him about it, but the fear of him telling me that there is no future for us is really getting the best of me. He didn't even come outside to where I was at this morning and I really don't blame him. What do you think? Is he waiting for me to approach him? Is it too soon after the divorce? Is he not interested any more? What do I do? Do I wait or do I go to him and explain my screwy behavior? Do I tell him that I still want to be with him? OM has not said anything to me either way during this divorce and I think that is probably because he didn't want to influence my decision. He went through this with his second wife and she left her husband for OM and then she ended up leaving him too. Since you have been through this, please advise me. Thanks!

I think it's time to end the dramas in your life.
I think you should be kind, respectful and truthful with everyone in your life, including your single man.
Live your life with integrity, not game playing. Yes, you can choose to be whatever type of person you want to be in this world.
Restoring your relationship with single man is not the end-all be-all panacea to your own life. It is a life choice with its own responsibilities and consequences.
I suggest you find a support group in your area for recently divorced women and attend some meetings and talk out the reality of being single after 25 years of marriage. I believe you have much to discover about yourself. Many things beyond just the single man.
As i've posted before to you, if a relationship with single man is in the cards, it will happen.
So be courteous to all, including single man.
That's who you are and who you should remain.....
cl-nre
Southerngirl, I like cl-NRE's idea of a support group.