Hey, Meefreenow

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Hey, Meefreenow
6
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 11:26am
Thanks for your quick response and you are always so good with your advice. I love it! You are so direct and to the point. I guess when you say, "Exclusive" you mean he doesn't want to be tied down to one person? Actually, he has been dating a lady steadily for the past year. He told me a couple of months ago, that she was not "the one" as far as him marrying her. He said that when he found "the one" that then he would get married again. He wanted to know if my divorce was final yet, like he was still interested. When I told him no, not yet, he backed off from the conversation. I wish I could read ex-OM's mind, but I will just have to wait. I guess time will tell. I am not divorced yet. Still waiting to have another hearing with the judge. Thanks for your help. You can give me advice any time!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 11:33am

HI South

Have you ever considered asking him if when your divorce is final if "YOU WILL BE THE ONE", he knows how deep his interest runs in you.

You should consider dating yourself, plan for a life with out OM because up to now he has offered you nothing to hang your hat on.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 12:04pm
Hey Mefree, I will definitely date other people. I just let my curiosity get the best of me, wondering what OM is thinking. It's really kind of funny that you asked me that. The day that OM and I had the conversation, he was busy asking me if I was divorced yet and I was busy asking him if he had found anyone to marry yet. Here's a short recap of the conversation. I called him to tell him about the house that I was moving into. The first thing that he asked me was if my divorce was final yet. I said no, not yet, probably in about 30 days or so. Then he said, yeah right, like he didn't believe I was going through with it. Then I asked him if he was going to get married again and he said when he finds the right one. Then I asked him if he would date me or would we have any kind of a chance at a relationship.(I already knew that he would say that he didn't know. I know him so well.)He said that he didn't know right now. Then he made some comment about that he was dating someone right now and we would discuss "us" after I was divorced. So that was pretty much the text of the conversation. I sort of figured that he didn't want to give me any kind of an answer until I am completely available. What is your input on this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 12:51pm

South

He is dodgeing the question as usual, he his making not even the smallest committment to you.

Date you he may but I would not get my heart all twisted up over him by having big expectations, I hate to put it this way but it may be that the window of opportunity has passed.

I would say start looking around and see who looks back.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 1:33pm
Thanks again Meefreenow. I will tell you this much. He used to always tell me how much he loved me, even after he was divorced and I was still married. I started telling him last year that I would leave my husband to be with him, and of course it took me a year to do it. I remember I told him in the summer of 2003 that I would leave my husband. OM had a new girlfriend at the time. He dumped her shortly after I told him that I would get a divorce. I don't know if him dumping her had anything to do with me or not. But, I do know that when I didn't get divorced, he had a new girlfriend within a couple of months. I was steadily telling him how much I loved him and wanted to be with him, but I never did anything. I think that he probably got tired of hearing it and not seeing any action. I am just hoping that what he is doing now is waiting to see if I go through with the divorce before he does anything. Is this possible, do you think?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 2:17pm

Do you mind if I interject here?

Love
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 4:19pm

South

Sounds like good advice Love gave you, hope for the best but be prepared in case it does no workout.

Free