In his best interest
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| Wed, 03-17-2004 - 9:00am |
He recently attended a wedding where he was introduced to an attractive single woman and he had 2 or 3 dates with her. He felt she was coming on strong to him, planning his evenings and his weekends and he wasn't really comfortable with that. In the meantime I began feeling jealousy over this although I knew I had no right to feel that way. So it seems that each and every day we had the discussion where we hashed over the fact that he desires so much to be with me, yet I cannot guarantee a permanent relationship with him, if he waits for me to make a decision (all the while never pressuring me because he understands that it is an incredibly painful decision to make) he may risk losing this other woman. We agreed that perhaps it would be best for us to no longer have contact so I may get my act together and if it is certainly fate... then it will work out that way. We've made this decision a few times now but heck only a few hours later my stomach is in a knot and I cannot resist phoning him. I tried to reach him last weekend but I knew he was with her (partly because I told him to "go and have fun"). Then when he wasn't there for me I left a not so nice message for him. It really hurt him that he wasn't there for me when I needed him. I listened to his kind words and then developed so much guilt for kind of purposely doing that to him. Had he been home what would I have done? I would have stayed an hour or so and then ran home to my husband as I always do. Today I finally had to firmly tell him that it would be in his best interest that we no longer see each other.
The thing that bothers him above all is that he remembers everything negative I've ever said about my marriage. He simply hopes I do not continue on if I am truly that unhappy. Life is too short. Man he is a wonderful guy.

Also please remember that your relationship with this man is new. You have not known him for that long. I am sure that he is a wonderful man, but didn't you think your husband was just peachy after knowing him a few months also? Something to think about.
I was in a similar situation and when push came to shove I stayed in the marriage. I have absolutely no regrets about that now, especially after getting to know XOM better. I may still leave the marriage, but the difference is that now I would be doing it for myself, not because I want to be with XOM. When you are in an A it clouds your thinking and influences your decision.
STop seeing OM while you decide. If you do leave and he's still available then great. If not, it is okay because by leaving you are giving yourself a chance to be happy. There are more then two men in the world.
Jazzdiva