His D-day Finally came...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2009
His D-day Finally came...
4
Tue, 04-20-2010 - 2:28pm

It happened, and not because of me or us--because of some past person from years back that finally reared its ugly head and told his wife the truth--about them.


Bad, bad bad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
Tue, 04-20-2010 - 2:49pm

Hello (-:

In my experience, I have never had a friend write me off - see that's the thing with friends - they're not disposable, threatening to one's family and can be called on day or night - friends show-up. Friends aren't relegated to 'certain' hours, secret email accounts or the curb when life gets rough. As you implied, friends are actually most needed in times of trouble - not told to go away.

My best to you - and it is obvious that you are grateful that you haven't experienced a Dday. Let this be a reminder to us all - that As can come back to destroy our lives years after they end.

You did not lose a friend.

TU.

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2010
Tue, 04-20-2010 - 9:40pm

TU - soooo very very well put! I needed that.


Lol - I'm so sorry you are hurting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2009
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 7:41am

hi- and thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 8:40am

Hi Lolita- I am sorry you are hurting... but you are right. He had a DDay and his world will never be the same. I had 3 DDays... and that is hard. I lost all trust in my M. I had to face up to what I did and I discovered that I was ugly and selfish and horrible. He is dealing with all of that now... and he will need to focus all of his attention to his W and family in order to have any hope of fixing it. And he can't do that if you are there to cloud his mind. The others and you are right- he was not your friend and you are not his. He doesn't need you now because you can't be the problem and the solution. He has to move forward now and do what he can to save his M if that is what he wants. And you have to allow him the space to do that. I am sorry he was cold. I am sorry he told you to leave him alone. It is what he had to do- I know because I did the same thing to my xap. I didn't do it to hurt him, I did it to save me.


Hugs,


Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/