His wife is crying a lot
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| Thu, 01-27-2005 - 12:25am |
Not sure what to think right now.
The xMM keeps calling me, every few months or so. Last week he called twice. The second time I actually took the call. After some conversation regarding the state of his marriage, I suggested that they go to councelling to try and work things out. Know what he said? "It'd be hypocritical for me to do that, since I'm not even sure if I want to save the marriage right now." Last year at this time, he found out she had cheated on him (someone called him and tipped him off about her affair.) They've tried councelling before, but I guess it didn't help much.
I have tried over the last several months to avoid him; I don't return calls or e-mails. I answered his last call b/c I wanted to tell him a few things; I asked him how things were at home; and he said that things were worse than before, and that his W is crying a lot, telling him she can't live without him, blah, blah, blah; which makes me think he's told her he's contemplated leaving. I feel sorry for her. She is on my mind more than he is.
I really don't think he'll leave her b/c of the two DC. He's admitted his selfishness in trying to keep connected with me, but seems to be doing nothing to change that situation. I told him I was NOT going to hang around on the outskirts of his life to make his marriage bearable. My heart nearly stops every time the phone rings when it I think it could possibly be him. I would not answer if it was him. (Unless he were leaving a message to say he was divorced.)
What's even worse about this is that I've finally met someone who's single/available, and that I actually LIKE, but chances are he'll be moving out of state in a few months. Fate can be so cruel.
So, I'm sticking to NC, trying to subdue my dreams of someday hearing him say "I'm all yours" b/c I know if he does say that, then somewhere out there there's a woman sobbing her eyes out for a husband that's left her. As much as I wish he'd just leave her, I don't want to hurt her.
How messed up am I?
p.s I've had too much wine tonight, so I hope this makes sense.
grace

Grace
As someone once said. you can't build your life on the ruins of another persons life.
Keep the NO CONTACT, let him sort out his life with out any thought that your out there waiting for him.
Who knows maybe SG will not get that job, but even if he does they created jet planes for a reason.
Sober up tommorrows a work day.
Free
Edited 1/27/2005 8:49 am ET ET by mefreenow
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Grace,
By taking his calls, you are planting yourself right back into the middle of his marriage, one that apparently is in trouble. Please try to respect this woman's marriage (something none of us ever did or we wouldn't be here), and stay out of it.