His wife found out

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2010
His wife found out
4
Wed, 06-16-2010 - 10:23pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
Wed, 06-16-2010 - 10:38pm

Hello,

I've not much time right now - but I wanted to acknowledge your post & pain and fear.

What I would like to advise you, in response to your questions is this: spend the next few hours, days reading everything you can on this board - from the Healing Library make sure to read the D-Day thread.

here it is:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlending&msg=26274.1&x=y

You will certainly realize the very simple answers to your questions:

No Contact again - ever.

Keep him blocked - text, phone, IM, facebook whatever ...

It doesn't matter what he feels, thinks ... this is about self-preservation now and keeping your family together.

Forever.

And yes - if she wants to badly enough, she will track you down.

I hope you will stick around - having committed to ending your A - for good.

The answers are simple - it is living with the reality of them that will bring you to your darkest moments, and then toward healing and freedom.

((hugs))

TU.

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Thu, 06-17-2010 - 7:02am

OFO,


You did the right thing in blocking them from your email account. This is what we would have advised anyway. It appears that you were just another in a long line of emotional affairs this guy has had. His poor W probably has it down to a science in how to catch him. I wouldn't worry about having any further problems with her as she sounds quite busy trying to keep her H in line. How do you take away your spouses computer? He is acting like a teenager but can't be punished as one.


When an A ends we really do have to take drastic

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2009
Thu, 06-17-2010 - 2:40pm

Hi Oneflew,

You did all the right things by blocking them both out of your life. So you were number 12, wow, doesn't it make you feel special?? That guy gives a serial cheating the whole new meaning. Well, he is his wife's problem now. Yes, she can possibly track you down, but she probably won't - after 12th time it's too obvious he is the one with the serious problem.

Good luck and welcome to endings.

xoxo
Gone

**Bloodied but unbowed**
**Bloodied but unbowed**
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Thu, 06-17-2010 - 5:24pm

If your marriage and family mean anything to you, firstly you must be in preservation mode. Meaning....do anything and everything you can to protect your husband from finding out what you've been up to. That means NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER with your fantasy man. From the sounds of it, you've never even met him in person. You owe him nothing. He knows why you kicked him to the curb (as you should have). If what his wife is saying is true, he knows the drill anyway. Honestly, he shouldn't even be a factor in your mind now. You two got busted, game over.

More importantly, I think you should do some soul searching as to why you let yourself get involved in something that could potentially destroy your marriage. THAT is what's important right now. Not what this guy thinks or feels. The game is soooo over.