Is on hold different than the end?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Is on hold different than the end?
2
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 3:09pm
Has anyone here ever been put on hold? It is a terrible feeling. Waiting for Wife to leave when kids are out of school. Or I think I am. Help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 3:17pm
Maybe, maybe not. You didn't really post too much so its difficult to say. I think many folks on this board have been in that situation - either waiting for the other person's spouse to leave, or the other person waiting for us to leave our spouse. I'm not sure whether we ever know for sure whether we're ending it or putting it on hold until we actually do something. I can share that I kept putting my OMM on hold while I really believed with all my heart that I was going to leave my H to be with him. It was just going to take a little longer, everything will work out fine, etc. Eventually, however, the time came when I realized that I wasn't really ever going to leave my H, didn't even want to leave my H. So I ended the A. I guess subconsciously I put the situation with OMM on hold while I was deciding to end it. But that's just my story. You'll hear many different stories from the posters here. If you want to elaborate we'll be glad to give you our thoughts and feedback. Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 3:27pm


xxx trouble,

I believe there is a difference. If it's over it would have been flat out said that it is, aside from the pain, you would know where you stand. Being put on hold is giving the person the impression if you are patient, you will be rewarded. Know what I mean?

When I broke if off with MM I never said the actual words that it was a break -up (and I believe I did that intentionally, although at the time I didn't think of that)because he never wanted it over. I chose NC which included no emails, no phone calls, no physical contact, but I never said the actual words that I am breaking up with you.

I think thats because I was hoping to hear that he made his final decision to leave his and I wanted to be available.

I wish he would have said that it's over because I didn't have the heart nor the courage to do it. I am writing another post on my latest update and I would love to hear from everyone and what they're opinion is. I hope I have helped a little and I hope I made sense.

MidnightBlue