Honesty-Talked to Ex ap ...........feel ok though.
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Honesty-Talked to Ex ap ...........feel ok though.
| Tue, 11-23-2010 - 10:54am |
Last night I decided to Im ex-ap while I knew he was offline
| Tue, 11-23-2010 - 10:54am |
Last night I decided to Im ex-ap while I knew he was offline
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Got nothing for you, R, except your lying, junky mind got the best of you.......so, onto T session #3. Looks like this is going to be a very long road for you.
:smileysad:
I've got nothin'.
Let's see...reasons you opened the door.
Renewal,
I'm not a vet but wanted to chime in anyway. Couldn't resist "going there" again, huh? I'm calling BS on the old gentleman thing because there probably
R~
Something else just came to mind as I was finishing up some work here. It's also possible that when things start getting better for you, there is a negative tape playing in head that thinks you are not worthy of "better," therefore you subconsciously sabotage yourself.
"He acts like we never had a break up or huge fight.
If I was afraid TU I surely wouldnt have owned up to contacting him.
Renewal. I have to admit, I could only read thru a few sentences of your post because it upset me becasue I have done this too and i remember how I felt afterwards.
It upset me becasue I remembered doing the same damn thing MANY times.Of course I was alone and not here on the boards with others trying to for NC, but still it upsets me.
I feel ashamed because when I got re-involved, the x AP hadn't changed at all, even tho I HAD! And I had already known that, so why did I need to suffer more with my JAM?
Your therapy success MAYBE made you do this, but remember, with any addiction, there are far more triggers than we can ever cope with alone..
Thanks Melinda.
Don't not be afraid ((hugs))
You have been to the darkest places of your life - the fear inside the affair is literally that of losing one's life right in front of your very own eyes. Getting into therapy and finding out why, is just the opposite - it is like watching yourself be born; only this time you get to raise yourself.
Much love & care,
TU.
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