Hoping to get through the day...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2004
Hoping to get through the day...
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 9:21am
Well, its been one week since I talked to my MM. When I talked to him last week it was just chit chat about my move up here and the Hurricane Frances..nothing major. His wife leaves town today and he said he would call me while she is out of town. I sorta laughed and he asked me "do you think i'm full of BullChit?". Yep, I sure do. But, I'm going to try by hardest not to call him today. I've even left my cell phone in the car, hopefully I'll manage to leave it there all day. In the morning I leave for NYC with my H for the weekend, then come Monday MM will be on a business trip with co workers...so chances are I'm not going to hear from him, I know that, just can't accept it and know it will hurt when he doesn't call.

To boot, things are going down hill fast with H. I'm really not looking forward to our trip, haven't even started thinking about what to pack or what we'll do while there. We currently are not even speaking to one another.

I desperately want to talk to MM. Want to suggest that if he can mannage a business trip while I'm home in a couple of weeks I'd love it..that it would give me something to look forward to. A nice distraction from my hell of a life I'm having. Its so easy to justify your A. Its so easy to say I deserve what little happiness I can get whenever..wherever..if his W doesn't know whats the harm? ( I know the harm, I've been the W too on the other end) I truly did go into this A just for the fun of it, thinking since he was married he couldn't want more from me than what I could give...HAHAHAHA. These stupid things we tell ourselves.

Well, hope you all have a great day! JB