How could he just not call??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
How could he just not call??
1
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 3:37pm
I am so confused and hurt...tomorrow is our normal or at least try to get together morning. And still no call from him. But sunday he said he would call Monday. I even cancelled my therapy appt. in the morning figuring we would be together well once again I altered my life for him and nothing. But remember he is the one under all the stress. He never once cancelled plans for me. And boy it cut like a knife when he said he was going away with the wife and kids this weekend...a week ago he didn't know how he was going to live with this women. I just don't get it months and months of telling me how awful your marriage is and you stay?? I told how awful my marriage is and had the guts to leave. I know I am a stronger person than him but how come I am soooo weak when it comes to leaving him? But now I don't even think I have the chance to tell him off or anything. The nerve...wonder what he's thinking...we will run into each other at some point...he can't hide forever!! 1/2 of me wants to kill him when he calls, the 1/2 knows I will be relieved to hear his voice. I just wish this would all go away!!

thanks for letting me vent!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 3:44pm
He isn't calling b/c you are not a priority except when it suits him.

It doesn't matter what he told you about his M. It can't be that bad, or he would leave. Trust me...I heard a lot of that from my exMM...and he ended up back with W and kid. Also despite the fact that she knows of the A and he's going to have to grovel the rest of his life. But I guess it was worth it to him...and its not for me to say whether it should, or should not, be. He has to live with it, not me.

I applaud you for leaving your M if you truly weren't happy. But you can't expect him to do the same. The percentage of men who leave for the OW is extremely small...and of those who do, the odds of such a relationship working out long-term are almost infintesmal (sp?). How can a relationship based on lies and deceit and hurting loved ones ever have much of a chance?

Leaving is not easy. In fact, my exMM did the leaving, not me. Twice. What a fool I was. I wish I'd had the guts to tell him to screw him and the horse he rode in on. But hey...in the end, it was the best thing for me, so who cares how it actually came about.

You would be much better off with a man who will give you 100% of his time and energy. You don't need to sit around waiting for this boob to call. I know we all were way into our exMM's...and that's a difficult addiction to overcome...but once its done, you wonder how you could've let it go as far as you did.

Keep reading here...you will see that most of A's end badly.