How did you know it should be over?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2004
How did you know it should be over?
6
Sat, 11-27-2004 - 5:03pm

Anyone have any good sites or suggestions for self-examining whether or not it should be over?

I think I want it to be over, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to let go.

How did YOU know that you were ready to let go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2004
Sat, 11-27-2004 - 5:25pm

I realized it NEEDED to be over when OM started getting too possessive about wanting me all to him self. Also, I realized it NEEDED to be over when I made the decision that my M was more important than my A.

Notice I used the word NEEDED. Did I want it to be over? NO. Do I miss my OM? YES YES YES.. Has OM given up yet? NO!

It's a tough decision, every situation is different.

Good luck, no matter what you decide!!!

Looking

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Sun, 11-28-2004 - 9:44am
luv,
I was in one other affair with MM before the one I'm in now. (why do I do this to myself?) Anyway, it lasted 6 months, with all the promises to leave his W but never any actions taken. Didn't even try, and now I believe never intended to. I ended it about 3 times and always went back. He was never a very honest person with ANYTHING, and he was also VERY insecure with himself. One day I woke up and just didn't want it anymore! I wrote him a letter, called him to come over and pick it up and I never looked back. It didn't even hurt! Never shed a tear! I guess I'm waiting for that day to come with this MM. It will come. Possibly sooner than I thought. I think when the relationship just gets to be more angry and hurtful, than it is fun and loving, you get sick of it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Sun, 11-28-2004 - 10:06am

<<>>>

Dear LMK,

Just thinking you want it to be over is the beginning of the end. When I started having "Those Thoughts" I instinctively knew that my balance was off kilter. Then by some miracle, I found these boards. Just learning that I wasn't alone in my pain began the realization process for "letting go" and although it took several months to clear the fog, it finally dissapated. Uncovering the truth about affairs, and how destructive they are, was enough to "scare me straight." The more you open your mind to what is real in your life, the easier it becomes to close that fantasy door.

Keep reading and continue searching. You found your way here for a reason.

~True~

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
Sun, 11-28-2004 - 10:04pm

I knew it had to end when the pain became unbearable. I spent an entire day crying, from the guilt, and from misery at not being with him. No longer was I living, I was merely existing. This relationship seemed to be so life-giving, but turned out to suck the life out of me. And when other people started to notice, it was too much to bear.

Get out, while you can still choose. It's much easier to hold on to your dignity when you are the one to walk away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2004
Mon, 11-29-2004 - 7:23am

Dignity: Yep, it does feel good to at least have that...I knew to walk away when the hurt became unbearable. The A gave me new life/energy, now it has sucked the life out of me and I wish I walked away sooner.

Hope

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
Mon, 11-29-2004 - 10:13am


Just reading through these posts has helped me to realize that my decision to end the A was the right decision.
The A took away my own self respect as it went on ... the A lasted for 5 years and the first 2 were wonderful! Full of excitement, promise and I knew I wanted to be with this man. I left my H for this man, imagine my surprise to find out the OM was still M!!
The lies, the deceit, the feelings of hopelessness, the grief I dealt with on an ongoing basis was too much.

I thought of ending it several times, and tried a couple of times, only to get sucked right back ....until this time. I am out of the A since August and NC for 4 weeks,( only one conversation and lunch in the prior 3 months...but still it was CONTACT)

Be Strong and Trust your Heart!
Honey