How do I?
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How do I?
| Tue, 12-07-2004 - 11:44am |
Greetings,
(Never thought I'd need enuf to write from work, but I opened a desk file and found a photo of MW.)
How do I toss out the photographs of MW and the digital pics of her stored on my computer? I don't feel ready for that step but I know I have to face it someday.
I'm not looking for attention or pity, honest. I need some feedback for this feeling that tossing/deleting photos of MW is, somehow, betraying her. I know, I know--sick.
Will it be "easier" later perhaps?
Thanks in advance for anyone who can relate & pass along some counsel.
--LG

Tossing photos of MW, I'd suggest putting them all in a sealed envelope and store them at your home in a separate file box.
As to the digital pics, those you can burn to a CD and put the CD in the envelope with the other pics. After burning them to CD, you can delete them from your computer. Ditto for the email files and any other computer stored items.
Right now, immediately after ending the affair most likely isn't the right time to deep six the copies. Emotions are all over the place and, who knows, she may leave her husband after all. So, no haste at the moment.
I threw away the few presents xMM gave me and deleted everyone of his emails the moment we went to NC. But I still have the pictures. They are hidden in a file -- one that I have to get up, walk over to the cabinet, open it, rifle thru the last file, open an envelope, etc. So I've made it difficult to get to them. I haven't looked at them in a few months but even now, I know I'm not ready to throw them out. Why? I'm still working my way thru the why -- it's definitely a few T sessions!! Do it on your own time..when you feel ready to do it. I had to get rid of the emails because I knew that I'd keep reading them and I couldn't keep picking at that scab. I know some people will say get rid of all of the pictures...but if you're not ready, you're not ready and you can't let other people's time-lines rule you.
B
Thx you guys,
Guess I'll do the stuffing & sealing ritual this weekend. My camera uses a mini CD, so it's just a matter of labeling those then deleting the file pix. And you're right about the emotions being all over the place. Whew! I'm on overload.
Hummm...never thought about the possibility of her leaving the H. Better clean the bathroom as soon as I get home! ;--)
--LG
Levi -
First let me say that I am so sorry that you are dealing with such pain. It's a very difficult thing to go through...
I think throwing things away is a very personal decision. Only you know when you are ready. My A only lasted 4 months, and we have been w/ NC for almost 3 weeks now. After the A ended, we stayed in contact for about another 4 months. THAT was more difficult than throwing things away. I DID delete xOM's # from my cell 3 weeks ago. He changed jobs, so I no longer have his email address, and so can't block it from my computer.
I will admit that I still have several emails that he sent me that were EXTREMELY emotional, as well as a CD that he made for me. I have them - but I do not read them or listen to them. I know they are there, and when I am ready I will get rid of them.
Diva
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Leviguy,
I havne't thrown out anything my MM ever gave me yet, but i have put them all away where I can't see them unless I intentionally look at them. I KNOW I'm not strong enough to throw them out yet but someday I will look through that stuff and wonder why the heck I still have it. That's when I'll throw it away.