how do I move forward, first post, so hurt and the pain....omg, can't stop the tears
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how do I move forward, first post, so hurt and the pain....omg, can't stop the tears
| Tue, 02-15-2011 - 12:44pm |
Hi,
I am new here, I have been searching online for a safe place to get support, where I won't be bashed as some other sites don't offer what looks like healthy support for someone going thru this. I am trying to learn quickly (so I can understand) the lingo...abbreviations. Is there a list of them somewhere?
Here goes my pathetic story. I have been in a three month A, my first. I am married (17yrs) , as he is and was not looking for an A, he was and although I knew that from his profile on this site I never paid too much attention to that. Yes, we met online, I was lonely as husband was out of town, we had recently a rough four months in our relationship.....very rough, lack of communication.

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I am so not sure I can do that, blocking his number! We haven't really had goodbye, I have things to say......I am proud I have not replied. I do appreciate comments on Dday, that thought horrifies me. It does....now I am feeling guilty for not replying to him........holy this sucks. What have I done....i will consider the blocking......I will. Thank you.........
mic
I hear your pain lound and clear and i too have been there!
Follow the following best advice:
pls tell me your still with me and you made it through last night?.
I wake up and once H leaves....I start to cry......I can't do this for another whole day.
I made 24 hours NC, feel horrible but I am glad I have this great advice and support, I truly thank everyone.
This new board (they upgraded it in Oct.) is burning my toast! ;-) Those links were working yesterday. Okay, I took them all from the healing library, so you can find them there too. Just click the " view more" button located in the lower right corner of the HL section and it will bring up all of the threads. You will find them as you scroll down.... I won't waste my time doing that again. I will bump up the abbreviations thread so it should show up at the top of the HL section. I will also bump up a couple others that I think are important for newbies to read too.
And yes, APs lie about having a sexless M. I was fed that crap too and bought into it just like you have. Ask yourself this. How would they even know they had to adopt unless the tried and true method wasn't working? I can only imagine what the two of them have been through in order to find out they couldn't have their own kids. You need to trust us when we say that all is not as it seems. You only hear what he wants you to hear, honey, for keeping you on the sidelines. He pulls back because he knows he will never be able to give you what you really want...and let me ask you this. If he did leave his W for you would you end your M for him? I've only see this happen a couple of times on this board and guess what? The woman left her M only to find out her AP changed his mind and decided to work on his. Devastation all the way around.
Bravo on getting through your 1st day. If you want this madness to end...keep on going. You've been given some great advice and if I were you, I would read it over and over again.
((Hugs))
PS It looks like Foggy has already bumped up some good threads in the HL. Be sure to read those, and the Wisdom and Insights thread is right there for you to read. That was one of the ones I had linked for you.
MLC one of mine said it and I found out his wife was pregnant. Yeah it was sexless alright.
The answer is yes - we've all heard it. How they just put in the time because now is not a good time, her health is bad, how they can't kill the W's dream to have children, they aren't sleeping with them, on and on. Down in the Healing Library (down at the bottom of the main page) are lots of threads with what we've all heard. Sadly - A's are not unique - most of us have the same story.
YOU CAN do this another day - read, read, read. And I beg you - I know it's hard but block him. I promise you that NOT knowing what you are or aren't missing will HELP you move forward. Keep us posted today - tell us how you are feeling - you can do this - you CAN choose to let go of him and reinvest in your family and your M even.
Much love,
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