How do you get lovin feelin back for H
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How do you get lovin feelin back for H
| Wed, 01-20-2010 - 9:34am |
When xap is always on the mind....how do I find those feelings again for H.
| Wed, 01-20-2010 - 9:34am |
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Thanks :)
Don't want to hijack, but I've said it before and it bears repeating: Those of you who made it OUT of a long-term A and lived to tell about it are my heroes!! And if it wasn't for reading your stories and how you survived... I think I'd be locked up in a padded room right now :)
Back to the "How
I think this is a legitimate question and I don't think anyone would judge you for your thoughts! Physical attraction is a mystery. Chemistry, history, affection, lust, love -- who knows?? I know an old man who still lusts after his 70 year old wife. He says he stills sees her as a 25 year old bride and that she never aged in his mind. Ahhhhhh! I think your mindset will determine your attraction to your husband - bald, squat, whatever. Love him from the inside out and all that cr@p. ha. But really, being out of shape and not taking care of yourself is disrespectful in a marriage, I think. You have committed a person to have sex with you and only you (um, yeah, I know... ) and if you don't keep yourself up, it's not very thoughtful, is it?? Maybe your husband's ego could use a boost, or he's a little depressed? Maybe he doesn't think it matters what he looks like because, "nobody cares anyway."
Maybe if you stroke his ego with compliments, he'll start to care about his looks more to please you -- and, maybe, you'll respond to that? I dunno; I'm fumbling here. Just trying to help.
All I know is that mindset and feeling good about your partner over all is key. My H is moviestar gorgeous. No kidding. Drop dead gorgeous... and I couldn't get it up for him if my life depended on it. has nothing to do with looks. Sucks.
actingasif -
I know what you mean. I go through such emotional phases. I'm trying so, so hard to have those loving feelings. One week I'm on top of the world because my husband is being so wonderful (see my post from last week) then the next week I'm trying to decide if it is better to be in my marriage or be alone.
Three days of my husband getting mad at me and here I am again. Last night's episode was because I was trying to get out the door and finish up my son's homework. I had a PTA meeting that I was already 10 minutes late for. He was talking about someone at work and I thought he was done so I continued talking with my son about his homework. Then I finished helping him and left. I said goodbye to everyone he seemed fine.
I came home and I could tell he was mad at me. I ask him what was wrong and he wants an apology because he was trying to tell me something important and I ignored him. I try to explain that I thought he was done talking and I was just trying to get going because I was late. He gets very upset leaves the room and pouts all night and today about it. I need to find happiness within and not let these things bother me so much.
The day before was because I asked him to keep his eyes on the road when he was driving on a 2 lane highway it was snowing and he is constantly looking at the fields passing by. He is a hunter and he constantly is looking for deer. I normally try to drive during the day so he can look, but I figured it was almost dark. That made him very upset. The day before it was an argument about how I am doing a part of our budget.
Then I look back and wonder if it is my fault. I doubt myself and it gets me down and I don't want to be down. It just seems like these types of things shouldn't bother him so much, but it has always been this way. So I guess this is a round about way of telling you that I completely understand and the bedroom is a whole other issue. I have no desire to have sex with him right now. I am a confused woman, but really wanting to have some hope for my family.
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