How do you get over the guilt?
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How do you get over the guilt?
| Wed, 01-19-2005 - 5:12pm |
Hi...I've posted here from time to time. Am still trying to get over an affair that ended in mid-October. I've been good with the NC thing except for work situations. It's actually been easy lately when I see him. We are cordial, but there's still some weirdness that I (and he) feels. I miss him on certain days, but overall I think I'm going to be ok. His wife also works here in another dept. I don't see her often at all. The thing is this...I feel such guilt about what we've done to her. She doesn't know anything about what happened, but does/did suspect something of me. He told me not to make any attempts at friendship with her or it would seem suspicious, but I do want a sense of normalcy in my life. I don't want a friendship, I just want to know that everyone is o.k. with me. I don't want this person suspecting me or hating me or having bad thoughts of me. Right now, whenever I see her, I shrink away like a rat. I'm so ashamed. She's a kind person, really. I just don't know how to get over the guilty feelings that I have and act somewhat "normal" when I see her. We actually used to speak now and then, but now I'm too afraid to even look at her. What do I do? I want my old self back, but I feel that until I feel normal around her, I can't be my old self. Advice anyone?

Hap
I am going to bump this up so maybe someone can give you some insight.
I wonder if you are not your old self but you just can't see it for the guilt blocking your view.
You have already repented (had a change of heart) of what you have done, now it's time to forgive "YOU".
Free
Self forgiveness is the best antidote for guilt. The next time you see her send silent thoughts her way such as "I'm am truely sorry" or "Please forgvie me."