How do you make things work???

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2003
How do you make things work???
12
Sun, 02-27-2005 - 1:25pm

Oh what I wouldn't do to be turn on by my dh way my xmm has turn me on. Why is it that it isn't possible? Why do i feel nothing towards my dh, is it because I'm his wife and the mother of his children, is it not possible to be passionate about someone that you share all that with? I try during the day to think of things, to make me awnt him and than he walks in and it all goes away. I'm not sure our marriage will work, I'm not sure I want it too work but in the same breath I SO want it to work. But he does nothing for me, nothing. God how depressing life really is, does it have to be this way??!!

m~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2004
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 4:03pm

Ditto, HP. My H and I have not had sex since August. And I stopped kissing him years ago. Shut eyes here, too. Clenched fists at times. We separated in October. He has said so many times that he wishes that he didn't "disgust me." That he wants to know what I find so unappealing about him. I try and try to tell him that has nothing to do with it. He is attractive and not unappealing at all. I try to be honest and tell him that for me it all is directly related to emotion. But how do you tell someone that you have never had those passionate feelings about them? That you have known it since the day of your wedding? I mean, this is nothing new since the A. The A just served to wake that part of me that I didn't know existed.

After our wedding we got in the car to leave and it all hit me. Like a ton of bricks. I started bawling...couldn't stop. I pretty much cried for three days straight. Although he doesn't talk about it much I know that hurt him. I know part of my emotions were a lot of things...realizing that all of my family and friends were going back home and I was truly moving on. A lot of things.

My H has also said to me that he wishes I desired him like he does me. We have had good and bad phases in that regard. There were times that I DID enjoy sex. But more often than not it made me cry. It got to the point where I would just lay there, literally, and wait for it to be over. It is NOT fair to him. But despite all of that, he still wants to try to make it work. I guess I feel that I owe it to him and me to see if I can change that. But I honestly don't know how.

Looks like we are not alone in this
Billie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2004
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 5:00pm

Deleted

GG




Edited 2/14/2006 8:52 am ET by ggkali

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