how do you say bye and mean it?
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how do you say bye and mean it?
| Thu, 05-13-2010 - 9:27pm |
I have been married for 14yrs.I have an AP for 6yrs. My AP has been married for 5yrs.In the beginning it was soooo much fun and we both were 100% into it.As time went on the feelings came and everything changed. I'm the one calling just to hear his voice,texting him to just no he is there.doing everything to want to believe he wants to still be in my life.I say I love u but he stopped saying it and says you no my feelings, they have never changed.I can tell he is distant and not really into the

Welcome Daisy! :)
If you are an investor, would you still put your money where you know that you will no longer have
Welcome, Daisy!
Hi Daisy-
Welcome to EAS. I could have written CSN's post word for word. I too tried to end my A more times than I can count and I always went back. Each time, when I ended it, I knew in my heart that I wasn't ready to let him go. As xap started to pull away near the end, I started to go crazy. I felt pathetic and weak and obsessed. And I realized one day that my heart was fully invested and that I was going to get hurt very badly. And when I finally had enough of the hurt, vulnerability, etc, when I hit rock bottom, when I knew that if I continued I would lose everything, I ended it and I really meant it. That was 106 days ago and it was the best thing I ever did for ME. It was easy for me to walk away when I recognized that I was free from the cycle of pain, I was free from his reign over me... I was free to be me and be happy.
Hugs,
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Dear Daisygal,
Welcome - sorry this post comes late.
I just wanted to say that you have much to feel good about, even though there is so much pain. This is better. This is pain with a purpose - and the purpose is to heal you. I have lost a lot because of my A - tangible and intangible. I grieved the loss of my A like a death. I crawled into bed for days. I got up just to get the kids off and then back into bed I went. I cried, I screamed, I posted here. And you know what? I lived through it. It continues to be the hardest fight of my life - but it is a fight for my life. He would have continued to consume me until there was nothing left if I had stuck around.
I wish you courage for the days & weeks to come.
You can do this.
TU.
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou