How do you stop the part thats urging u?
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How do you stop the part thats urging u?
| Tue, 09-21-2004 - 7:52pm |
It is almost 2am here, I just watched a movie with my H and the whole time I was thinking, I wonder if he emailed me? But here I am testing myself, I dont want to even let myself check the inbox because 1. Im sure he didnt 2. It proves to myself that I am so weak I cant go a few hours without checking.
In the meantime while Im thinking about him, he is probably having dinner with another girl, getting all these emails from "ex gfs" and "friends" because he always has friendly breakups...if I gve him a piece of my mind it would not be too friendly...but I know that would just look bad on my part, why do I seek his validation? All I seemed to do was praise him and then mostly I remember from him the neg. things he told me...why would that make me keep coming back...Well Im going to bed, and I know I will check the mail in the morning, most likely nothing will be there, but just resisting my urge now, I hope will somehow make me stronger...Has anyone done this same obsessive checking after you decided it was over, how do you stop?
In the meantime while Im thinking about him, he is probably having dinner with another girl, getting all these emails from "ex gfs" and "friends" because he always has friendly breakups...if I gve him a piece of my mind it would not be too friendly...but I know that would just look bad on my part, why do I seek his validation? All I seemed to do was praise him and then mostly I remember from him the neg. things he told me...why would that make me keep coming back...Well Im going to bed, and I know I will check the mail in the morning, most likely nothing will be there, but just resisting my urge now, I hope will somehow make me stronger...Has anyone done this same obsessive checking after you decided it was over, how do you stop?


Just about everyone goes through it so your normal.
You really need to block his e-mails remove him from your address book and delete any samed e-mails you have from him or have sent to him, close the door to opportunity to slip up.
The longer you refuse to lower yourself and have "anything" to do with this guy the stronger you will get.
Good luck
Free
I think we are on nearly the same time zone :)!
I just posted some questions for you in my Urges and Revelations message.
I have a hard time not checking. I actually DO check frequently! But everytime there is nothing I know I am not on his mind. He's probably online looking at porn or e-mailing the next unsuspecting english speaking woman (seems to be his targets!).
Hang in there - and I will too!
That wine helps me sleep at night and not toss and turn thinking about him - but it also lowers my drive to keep my actions sane!
-lazy
we only went monday and tuesday w/o any contact, then this morning i check my email its says only, "I miss you already:(" I want to write back so bad because I miss him so much too AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! What do I do?
I am not even attempting "no contact" because I have to see him and I want to avoid a big drama. I am just pulling way back emotionally. I'm working on being friendly rather than being friends. That is my goal anyway.
BUT...I am new to this too and I don't want to tell myself it is ALL or NOTHING - otherwise I am afraid I will jump back into the ALL. I am just taking it one day at a time and trying to keep my distance.
I would have had a hard time if my xOM e-mailed saying he missed me! He hasn't though (which is good but also insults me too!)
Hang in there!
-lazy