How do you survive afterwards
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How do you survive afterwards
| Wed, 04-20-2005 - 11:38am |
How do you get over the affair? A little background, I'm M, OM is S. He ended our 6 year affair yesterday. I'm glad he did because I didn't have the strength. He got tired of waiting for me to leave my H. I can't blame him. I've been trying to leave H for years, but didn't want to hurt him. As if my affair wouldn't. It's funny how we rationalize things in our minds to justify why we do what we do. I don't know how to get over it, but I don't plan on anymore contact because I need to take a good look at my M and my make some choices. I have a 10 year M and 6 year affair, seems like that says it all. I'm so heartbroken, I really love him. I want to cry but there's no tears left. I've started by getting rid of things that remind me of him. I need advice from a survivor. Thanks for your help.

hey gal,
u can start with small steps, im not gonna tell u whats wrong , u need to find out what is wrong/missing in your life/marriage in general
- delete all his emails
- block all his emails
- change your phone number, home and cell if possible
- dont go to places u both hang out
- dont contact OM anymore
- delete his phone# from your cell phone
- dont contact OM anymore
- get rid of things(physical things that OM gave u) burn if u can or hide them somewhere
- dont contact OM anymore
- get rid of all those pictures if u have them, both real and digital pics
- dont contact OM anymore
- dont email , voicemail or snailmail OM anymore
welcome to the board, it will be hard but some of us have done it here already, take care and focus on hubby and try to fall in love with hubby again
max
If your marriage isn't making you happy ..you definitely need to think about what to do there. I wish you luck and send you big hugs!
hey gal,
good start !!! tomorrow will be day 2 and then day 3 and so on and before u know it, u are going to be ok
try to figure out what is wrong with your marriage, if u can stay and work it out and if not then u have to make that choice, make the choice for you own self , not because u think OM will be with u , dont live in that fantasy world, it will destroy you, make your heart cold and the pain will eventually drain you of love
i dont agree that OM knows u better than yourself, only u know yourself, u think he knows u but he does not, he took advantage of u
im sorry if i spound harsh but i been where u are and i am suffering like u as well, i am angry and upset, i feel like my life is over, but i know that it is not true, we make our own choice and we make our own life
max
ggc,
I'm sending you a big hug. I am an oldtimer on the board and we have a lot in common. What I can offer you is: Take one day at a time, cry if you need to, get some physical exercise, do something you love every day, count each day with NC as an accomplishment. They add up quickly! I am going on a year and never thought I would make it! Post here and vent if you need to, it helps! Sending thoughts your way. Our marriages sound so much a like and I think we have very similiar situations, I know how real the pain is you are feeling!!
Karry
Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige