How to End A if AP wont let you...?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2003
How to End A if AP wont let you...?
11
Wed, 11-18-2009 - 6:20pm

im trying to completely get away from someone i started with over a yr ago.

~k

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Wed, 11-18-2009 - 7:14pm

K,


From what you have written he is M too. Since you mentioned in a pervious post that he and his wife go to the same church as you, tell him you recorded the call and you are going to take it to your pastor as it seems he is trying to blackmail you. Tell him you feel you need some spirtual advice as to how to handle this. Even if you don't plan on doing that, it seems that could make him back off. He may want to expose you but I doubt he wants all that info. in his pastor's hands.


It would be a good time to get into IC if you can and let a professional direct you.


I actually ended my A while in IC and with the help of my T. I was afraid my xAP would try to tell my H about the A. I asked my T what I should do if that were to happen. One thing she told me was to tell him I already told my H about it and we want you to leave us alone. You are not invovled in my M. Worry about your own affairs.


She said to say that even if I didn't tell my H. Most men are too afraid to tell

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 1:42am

Well, well, well, so he showed you who he is..........CONTROL FREAK!


iluvjOhn, it's not the time to get whimpy and scared, it's time to pull out your claws!


You can't control what he says and does, that's a given, however, you can control yourself.

Onward and upward.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2009
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 4:34am

I totally agree with what the others said! He sounds scary

Great advice, Empowerment (what you said about recording the phone call and 'telling' the pastor) !!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2003
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 9:30am

E1 thanks for your reply/

~k
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 10:29am

Hi K,


Thanks for sharing your story.


After reading your post and learning more about you, I’m very concerned not only about the multiple affairs but also about other struggles in your life. Know that no one here is judging you. I have said before to another person that admitted to having multiple affairs that whether you’ve had one or multiple affairs bottom line is we’ve all had one affair too many.


I have some ideas and thoughts I’d like to share but first I have a few questions to help me better understand your situation. How does #2 contact you? Does he have only your cell phone number? Does he also have your work/home email, home phone, home address?

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 10:47am

Thanks for sharing the updated info with us.

Onward and upward.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2003
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 1:20pm

hi E1,


#2 contacts me either by cell (mostly texting) and im'ing me on yahoo.

~k
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 1:38pm
More and more excuses for you iluvjohn.
Onward and upward.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2008
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 3:00pm

<>


I'm sorry but what is so special about two months from now?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Thu, 11-19-2009 - 4:02pm

If you no longer work at the company, then my idea for going to HR won’t work.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

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