How to end it, or can you?
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 07-30-2004 - 2:26am |
I am very much familiar with this board. Yes, I myself use to come here as if it were the church for forgiveness of Affairs, and it was my sanctuary... my survival. I was in an affair for over 5 years.. Me, the M woman, him.... well he was the single guy always somehow finding himself in so many other relationships besides ours... but what could I say?... I was married! Anyway, I am proud to say that I have hit my year mark plus a couple of months ... Affair free. I am now divorced from my H, and let me tell you.. It didnt make a difference in the A. Do I still love this guy? Of course I do. I got past denial a long time ago. We hit phases ya know where we want to hate them and protest that we ever loved them, but to be honest, when its all said and done and the healing kicks in, so does the truth.
So many of us spend so much time debating on if we should end it or not, and then asking ourselves if it is possible to end it. The truth is, it cant be done with one phone call, or the saying of just one word. To end an A, it takes time. This isnt just something physical that ends. This is something that your mind has gotten used to, your heart cant seem to live without, and your fear feeds on it. Let me ask you, if you were to stop eating today, right this moment, would your body adjust to it right away? No way! It takes alot of time. So just by saying we want to end it, doesnt mean that its over.
How to end it, and can we.... Yes, we can end the A, but no we cant stop the love we have for them and never will. How do we end it... we end it the way that we each see fit for ourselves. Everyones situation is different simply because we are all different people and we handle things differently. If you are not able to end today, then dont. Spend plenty of time here talking about it and getting a feel for it, and when you are ready, it will happen.
Just know that it does get better, the hurt turns into forgiveness, the pain subsides, and the love, well it just becomes something that you can smile about and be thankful that you know what it feels like to love someone.
Here_2_Help

Karry
Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige