How to end A when it's bf's dh??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2004
How to end A when it's bf's dh??
2
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 4:00pm
I have been having an A with my best friend's H for the last 3 months. He is also my H's best friend. MM and I decided last Thursday that we would end the A. After 2 days of being miserable, we agreed that the cold Turkey approach was just way too hard for us to take. We were both miserable and trying to hide that misery from our spouses. We don't want them to know, don't want to ruin our marriages, ruin the friendships we have established. We thought we could try a "measured withdrawal" approach to this. No contact doesn't seem like it is possible as we do things together with them as couples all the time, including vacations. So, our plan is to decrease "affair" type contact with each other over time.

Has anyone been in a similar situation with a positive ending?? We both want our current spouses and marriages to last, but don't want to lose our friendships as well.

Gigi

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2003
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 4:44pm
What were the two of you thinking? How could you betray your spouses and best friends that way? Just because you have an itch, it doesn't mean you have to scratch it. You could have flirted and it would have been perceived as friendly because the two couples are close. How can you look your best friend in the eye? How can you continue to maintain a marriage? I have looked but not touched and believe me it's difficult, but the thought of betraying my friend or my spouse keeps me from actually touching. I don't see a happy ending for this one. Just do your best friend and husband a favor and don't confess to the affair.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2004
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 4:54pm
Thank you for your kind words of support!! Do you not think I have thought of all those things you said to me? That they don't torment me?? Why do you think wewant to end it?

I really needed you to add to them.

Thanks so much!