How many of us have broken no contact &

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
How many of us have broken no contact &
5
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 9:37pm

had to start over? I know I did a few times as much as business would allow. How many of us managed to pick ourselves up and start over? I bet there are a lot of us! Have you? Was it any easier the 2nd or 3rd or 4th time?

~Chris~<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 12:42am
about a million times over the 3 years of the A. The last year was more deliberate and focused on weaning myself from the affair - it took about 6 mos. of devoting my attention to other aspects of my life, including dating single guys. When I finally ended, I never wavered from NC and it still took 6 more mos. for my MM to give up. I'm SO glad I finally did it though -- it's been over a year & I've NEVER ever been happier.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 8:29am
Once since the A ended in December. And my frustration over that led me to this board, so I look at it as a blessing! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 10:04am
I had to take a deep breath after I read this post and the responses. This is my first attempt at NC and at just a few days shy of 3 months I still have the urge to contact him before he "forgets" about me! Not necessarily because I miss "HIM" but you know, just to make sure his heart is appropriately broken and its taking every ounce of energy he has just to make it through the day without me! LOL. Then I'll feel satisfied that my work with him is done.

I guess from time to time I let myself think that since this is my first attempt at NC it doesn't necessarily have to be successful, that I'm allowed a few "relapses" before I get this right. Please tell me that aint the case - I can end this thing cold turkey on the first try!!! Thanks! Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10

Avatar for crystal_clr
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 1:19pm
I hate to even answer this, cause for me it seems to have been countless times. We have probably only made it this close to this far 3 or 4 times and actually this is the farthest. (I'm not even counting the week we emailed - last week - cause it didn't lead to anything, so I feel I didn't lose ground)

For me the whole break up - NC - Get back together thing has been a very viscious cycle. I think its because we want to be together, but don't really have the courage in us to leave our marriages. And its more than courage actually - we both have little children, and there's no guarantee it would work for us, so why put everyone it that much pain?

However, if we aren't going to be together, then I need to get over him and work on where I am going to be (my marriage) - which is where I'm at now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 7:17pm
you can do it! Once I was seriously ready to end it (the prior "attempts" were really cycling through a "catch if you can" sicko drama trauma. Once I was serious, I turned my back, walked away and NEVER looked back.

3 months is great -- I never broke it off that long during my prior attempts!